Diamonds
by Greye Granger
Summary: SUB/DOM ISH Bella comes from a sexually controlling past relationship, and Edward is trying to overcome a tragic loss. When the two meet, can they move past their demons to be able to love again? AH.ALL BPOV. RATED M FOR LEMONS, VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE ETC.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright new stories! God, I have been obsessed with writing this one. You guys are going to love it. It is different than what I usually write about. It is rated M for the intense usual So read with caution.**

**Also, it is not called Diamonds because they're sparkling Vampires. It's called Diamonds for a completely different reason. This fic is AH and the characters go through some tough stuff, so I am warning you here!**

**I claim to own NOTHING Twilight. Just these smut words.**

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**Chapter 1:**

**Possibilities**

There are those who say that anything is possible if you set your mind to it. A boy that cannot walk becomes an Olympic swimmer, or a woman that cannot speak but can write a masterpiece. Possibilities are endless in life.

After living all of my twenty one years in one place, I felt that those possibilities had begun to dwindle into nothing. It was as if there was nothing new to be shown or known. I was spent. I had planned on moving after college, but somehow, it just hadn't happened.

That was, until my parents decided to divorce after twenty two years of being together. They were each others firsts for everything beginning at the ripe ages of 17. All new experiences were shared together. It wasn't hard to see when they began to fall out of love in my teenage years. It was painful at first, but after a while, I wanted them to separate. They would, then get back together, then do it again. Mostly, I think it was out of habit. They're not over forty-five, so if they had decided to stay together, they had a lot of years still to go with one another. When you're unhappy, change something. Finally, they did. Mostly because of me.

That would be the picture perfect divorce. A cliche even. My parent's divorce was torture. When my dad, Charlie began sleeping around with other women, I knew my mother, Renee, was not going to go down without a fight. Unfortunately for me, even though I was well above the legal age to live on my own, I had chosen to stay with them while I finished school. It put me between them constantly. Regardless of my father's harsh words and his nasty drinking habit, he was still my dad. Although, I was always on my mother's side. Charlie talked down to me a lot. For much of my life I walked around with the biggest insecurities one could have because of him. I grew to hate him. When the divorce finalized, I made no argument to move with Renee from our lifelong home in California, to the boonies of East Tennessee. She wouldn't do the move without me for fear that I would succumb to old habits. I had succumb to a lot of things, sadly. Of course the town of Sevierville had some small shopping malls, a Walmart, and a large movie theater, but compared to fast lane L.A. it was the boonies.

It was possible that I needed the change as much as my mother did. Old demons were left behind me, or so I hoped. I was in search for a new me and I began to view it as an adventure even though I was petrified. My two year associates degree in Veterinary Science was finished, and I had no other attachments in California any longer.

All my childhood I can recall my mother talking endlessly of Sevierville. Her parents would visit the Smoky Mountains from Ohio every summer of Renee's adolescence, and so she fell in love with it. College and Charlie pulled her to the grand state of California. After that, there was no turning back. That was until now, anyway.

It is a pretty town, very old in parts. In the month that we had been residents, I found the city to be charming. Renee basked in all of it. She got a job at the hospital as an ER nurse which she considers a step up from her last nursing job. The divorce wore her down a lot, but now she was beginning to pick herself back up. She was my best friend and now, in East Tennessee, my only friend.

I had searched for a job for a while before landing one at a local animal shelter. The only problem I had was no experience with farm animals. The vet that I worked under, Dr. Black, was encouraging me to go back to school for some Equis classes. I had to admit to my newfound fascination with horses, so I was seriously considering it for the fall semester.

"Morning, baby," My mother addressed with a smile. I smiled back groggily and took a seat at our small kitchen table. That was another new thing to get used to. Renee was buying this little house. It was cute and fit us well, but the downsize in space from our large house in LA was almost claustrophobic to me. She took a seat across from me after setting down two cups of coffee. I lunged for my mug desperate for the caffeine.

"You got the other pamphlet in the mail for that local college, today," Renee said brightly. She handed me a large envelope that had already been opened.

"It's a beautiful campus," She noted further.

"Yeah, but the school is so small."

"Compared to schools in Los Angeles, sure, but half the town's young people attend it."

"I am glad that its just a community college, though. I don't know if I could handle another University." I pulled the packet out and frowned.

"Summer courses?" I asked her.

"I thought you could... They start next week."

"Why summer, though?"

"It'll help get you into things, meet new people sweetheart. You don't want to spend the coming summer alone, do you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Mom, I'm twenty-one. Shouldn't I be worried about me now, instead of you?"

"I'm your mother. That worry is endless." I chuckled at her relenting attitude.

"How's work," I asked, trying hard to change the subject.

"Fabulous! Oh, baby I just love it there. Everyone is so kind."

"Good." I took another sip of my hot coffee.

"So... The summer courses?" She hedged again. I sighed. Maybe she had a point.

"All right, I'll go by the school before work." Renee clapped her hands excitedly. Where she got all her energy this early in the morning was beyond me. I took my coffee mug and new college packet with me up to my room to get ready for work. At least it was Friday.

I made my way downtown in my old Honda Civic with ease. Local high schools were being let out for the summer today. Apparently, most schools in the surrounding area were, too, so tourists were making their way into the city limits. That has to be the worst thing about this place. Tourists coming from all over the country causing traffic jams. Although, it was because of tourists that Renee met Charlie. I shook my head, not wanting to think of him. I turned the radio up, blaring Green Day, and continued on to the college.

When you're standing in front of the community college, I guess it does seen bigger. It was a new school with a lot of money put into it. I bet it made the city look that much nicer to some people. Students littered the halls I walked down to get to the registrars office. Upon entering, I was thankful for no waiting line.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan and I came to sign up for a summer course?"

"Ah, just in time. Late registration ends today. What courses are you interested in, dear?" Her southern accent was thick, but charming. She was an older woman and her hair was piled high on her head stuck there with mounds of hairspray.

"Just one, actually. I have an associates in Veterinary Science, and wanted to take an Equis course."

"You're lucky," She began with a smile, "There aren't many openings left." I sighed in relief. Thankfully, the course wasn't going to cost anything because of Dr. Black. Since it was work related, he put it through his vet office. I gave the elderly woman all the proper paperwork she needed and left the building feeling excited to start the class on Monday.

As soon as I got back to my old car, something collided with my face, hard. It threw me to the ground, cracking the back of my head. Dizziness overwhelmed me as I searched for my bearings.

"Shit, you okay?" A voice asked frantically. I stumbled trying to stand and felt a warm hand on my forearm helping me up. My eyes finally flittered open to land on a beautiful face. So beautiful in fact, it made me dizzy all over again. This new feeling had my mind in a crazed state.

"Uh, yeah," I staggered.

"Here," He said, offering me a bandana from his pocket, "Your nose is bleeding." I took the bandana and pressed it to my wound, flinching in pain.

"What the hell was that?" I asked. I forced my eyes to look downward, away from him. Confusion overwhelmed me. I never thought I would feel this way towards a stranger. Though it had happened before, I believed it to be a one time thing. I pushed those thoughts away immediately.

"You parked by the soccer field. Never do that," He said sheepishly. His southern accent was charming. It wasn't redneck, but sounded more of an old intelligent southern accent.

"Oh."

"You're fortunate." He said chuckling. I looked over to him. His eyes were hazel and had gold flecks shining in the sunlight. A coming tan dusted his skin. When I saw his attire, I knew that he was the one that hit me with the ball. He wore a green soccer jersey that seemed to make his hair look more brown than it actually was. It was brunette beneath a strange copper color.

"How so?"

"Last girl it hit caused a concussion. We've asked that they block this part of the parking lot off, but they have yet to. Most people just know not to park here."

"Uh-uh," I said through the now bloodied bandana. He too, noticed all the blood.

"Maybe you should see a doctor," He said nervously.

"No, it's fine. I just bleed a lot." He chuckled causing my cheeks to heat in embarrassment.

"Are you attending here?" He asked interested. I wiped my nose a few more times until it finally stopped bleeding.

"I start Monday. You?"

"I have one class left until I graduate, so I'll take it this summer as well."

"And you're on a soccer team, I see." I pointed to his jersey. He nodded proudly.

"Edward, man come on!" A big guy from the field shouted.

"Yeah, Edward!" A girl from the sidelines called. She had brown hair that went to her shoulders and wore fancy clothes. She put a hand on her hip expectantly. Edward waved his hand to them, then bent down to pick up the deadly soccer ball.

"Sorry again," He said to me. "You can keep the bandana/handkerchief."

"Thanks," I replied lamely.

"I'm Edward Cullen. Maybe I'll see you around..."

"Bella," I told him. "Yeah, maybe." We smiled and then he jogged back to his friends. I sighed lightly getting back into my car. I laid the bandana in my passenger seat carefully. It was blue stained red, and I couldn't help but think of it as some sort of an oxymoron. There was a little blood in my long auburn hair and across my white t-shirt. Embarrassment flooded over me, again. I thought of Edward the entire drive to work. Maybe there were some other possibilities here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just because it is a Holiday week and the last chapter didn't leave you hanging enough. Remember, my stories always change... What you may think now will be quite different. **

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**Chapter 2:**

**First and Second Impressions**

By Monday my nose was sporting a very nice black bruise. It went underneath my eyes and over my cheek bones as well. It was just my shit luck and nothing else. I grew to hate the guy who made me look like a broken idiot as much as I did like him. Everywhere I went I kept my eyes to the ground out of embarrassment. Unfortunately at work, I couldn't do that.

"What the hell happened?" Dr. Black asked astonished. I went and sat across from him in his office with a stack of files on my lap. My shoulders slumped defeated.

"One of the guys on the soccer team hit me with the ball..."

"Ah, you parked in the forbidden zone," He replied laughing.

"They really should have a sign," I protested forcefully.

"Well, I should have given you a heads up. Those guys are shit heads. What time is your class?"

"I go three days a week at two."

"Good. You will enjoy it. The professor was the man who taught me as well." I knew that Dr. Black was a younger guy. Obviously not too young since he had spent almost a decade in college. He's had this practice for a year, but I knew that he couldn't even be thirty yet. The man hit on me a lot, and it was incredibly flattering, because he was handsome with jet black hair and dark tan skin. Of course he was wealthy, and smart, too. All things a girl my age could want, but there was something missing in him for me. I handled men well, always keeping them guessing. I knew some of them wanted me, but I had no interest.

"I am excited, Dr. Black."

"Jacob, please call me Jacob."

"Jacob," I confirmed. He smiled and we began our day at the office.

I had to leave work a little early to pick up the books that were needed for my new class. The college was filled with students taking summer classes, and that had me feeling less like an outsider. I knew a lot of them had to make up for classes failed the semester before, though. I kept mostly to myself, but I wasn't complaining. Sadly, I hadn't ever been very good at introductions.

I found the classroom easily at the back of the third building. Walking in with my arms full of supplies, I found a seat near the front. All eyes turned to me when I entered, even a few gasps at the sight of my bruised face. I groaned inwardly. First impressions never fail to cease in ones memory. The summer heat was impending, so I found time to change out of my work scrubs for class. I wore a pair of white shorts and a blue tank top. Much to everyone's hatred, I liked the humidity for the pretty curls it gave my hair. In California, the dry heat kept my long strands flat as a board.

"Are you new?" A girl asked quietly from my left. I finished messing with my book and notepads to look over at her. She had a kind smile on her face which I returned. She wasn't wincing at the sight of my bruise, so that alone had me like her immediately. She pushed her black square rimmed glasses up higher on her nose with her index finger.

"I am," I told her shyly.

"Well, I am Alice."

"It's nice to meet you," I told her politely. She seemed just as shy as I was. Somehow I knew that she didn't have a lot of friends, either.

"You, too." She studied my face carefully.

"Soccer team," I told her lamely. She chuckled and nodded, causing her short hair to bounce in the air.

"I didn't mean to stare, but I figured as much. I sported a nice bruise last year, too." We laughed together. "Who's the lucky player that hit you?"

"Uh, Ed-" I stopped mid sentence seeing the guy I was about to name stroll into the classroom like he himself was going to teach it. He flashed his brilliant teeth at me in a wide smile.

"Bruised, Bella," He purred, coming to stand in front of my desk. I noticed Alice hunker down in her seat and turn to look away from us. I crossed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Damn, you really do know how to bruise," He said with a smirk.

"Yeah, with a shit ton of thanks to you," I shot back acidly. Was he being arrogant, or was this his sense of humor? Either way, it was a complete shock to the guy I met three days ago. His smirk spread into a smile.

"You wear it well," He joked. A few guys in the back of the classroom began to laugh, too. Suddenly, he had me feeling like a freshman in high school all over again. Then, as if on cue, that brown haired bimbo from Friday pranced into the room. She walked right up to Edward and tugged on his arm. When she looked to me, she winced, then recovered with a sly smile. My insides began to boil.

"Come on," The girl said whining to Edward.

"See you around," Edward said with a nod. I didn't reply, instead trying to burn him to the ground with my eyes. They went and sat at the back of the room automatically cutting up with the other people.

"Bruised, Bella," One guy said laughing. I bowed my head and sighed, kicking myself for deciding on a summer course. I was stuck with all the delinquents.

The class ended after a long and torturous two hours. The teacher, Professor Green seemed nice enough, though he was older than anyone I had ever come Into contact with. He spoke slow and gave a lot of information, making taking notes easy, but I knew that once we got out into the field, his teaching skills would fail. I strolled out to the parking lot with a chip on my shoulder. Edward made cracks all throughout the class period, a lot of them directed at me. The damn teacher found it funny, too.

"Bella, wait up!" I slowed my stride and turned to see Alice running up to me. Her hands were full of at least a dozen books looking like the weight of them would surely crush her tiny frame.

"I'm sorry about class," She said quietly, now walking beside me.

"They're assholes, it's no big deal."

"Um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some food or something? If not, it's okay," She said shyly. I stopped walking and looked to her with a smile.

"I'd like that," I told her honestly. She smiled her first genuine smile that I had seen.

We picked a restaurant on the other side if town, both starving. It was almost five o'clock, so I felt no shame in ordering a Bloody Mary. Alice snickered at me from across the booth table.

"What are you getting?" I asked.

"Sweet tea. I'm only twenty, Bella," She said laughing.

"Oh." Of course she was only twenty. I was a college graduate going back to college with students that had barely been out of high school. Alice did look older, though. She was short, but had big boobs and probably wore a double zero size pants. Maybe it was her glasses...

"But thanks for thinking I look older," She teased. She had begun to open up since leaving the school parking lot.

"I'm old, I guess," I joked back. The waiter came and took our orders. When I looked back to Alice, her face fell more serious now as she spoke.

"I'm sorry Edward was a dick."

"He was so nice the day when the soccer ball hit me. I wasn't prepared for the abrupt turn around, or that he was taking the same class as me."

"Yeah, he was supposed to graduate a while ago, but took time away from school after some family tragedy. He's almost twenty-two, now."

"Do people here know everything about everyone else?" I asked.

"Not exactly. The town has a lot of secrets. Edward's dad is a successful doctor at the hospital."

"You seem to know him, though," I countered. She folded her hands.

"He dated my sister in high school briefly. He was over at our house all the time." My eyes widened in shock.

"But... He looked right over you!" That strange new anger began to boil within me again. Alice shrugged.

"I'm social suicide." Her voice was sad.

"Bullshit. This is college, not high school, I thought.

"The guy you met Friday is the real Edward Cullen. He was so sweet to me back then. Once my sister, Tanya left for college out of state, he acted like he had never seen me before. The guy you saw today was a mask. He surrounds himself with these shitty people to get over a loss, to cover it up. He is different."

"Who's the bitch that follows him around now?"

"Ugh, Jessica Stanley. Her dad is the Cullen's lawyer and very wealthy. She's my age and such a slut."

Before I could ask her anymore, our food arrived. She managed to change the subject to school, and I went along with it feeling like she had already told me too much.

After a filling dinner and two Bloody Mary's later, I was driving home in silence. Traffic was miserable, so I decided to take one of the back roads. Thank heavens for the back roads, or locals would kill themselves. It was a longer route, but I didn't mind. Driving meant thinking time. Absently, I leaned over to the glove compartment to grab a cigarette. I lit if freely. I was a social smoker meaning it was a rare occasion. Everyone has something, so any passed judgement towards me, I shoved it away. I thought back to Edward first and how different he acted towards me today. It was silly to think of him so often, but I couldn't help it as hard as I did try not to. What could have happened to him? It seemed like he had a lot of hurt, and a lot to tell. My only problem was how to get closer to him. Or how I was going to allow him to get close to me. Then, my thoughts shifted to Alice. She was really sweet and kind, and I knew our newfound friendship would be a good one. I needed a friend as much as she did.

"Bella, is that you?" My mother called from the den.

"Yeah, mom, it's me." I closed the front door behind me tightly and dropped my bag on the floor next to my Vans. Renee came into the room and my eyes grew wide in shock.

"Wow," I breathed.

"You like?" She asked, spinning around. Her black sequined dress was floor length and open backed. My mouth fell open.

"You look amazing, mom. Where are you going?" Renee smiled and finished putting on her earrings.

"Work party," She replied easily, as if it were no big deal.

"Uh, huh," I said sarcastically. She winked at me.

"You were out for a while," She noted mindlessly, checking her appearance in the mirror that hung above the fireplace. I rolled my eyes at her vanity. She had short hair that fell to her shoulders that she curled in loose ringlets. Her make up was heavier than usual, but tasteful. At least she didn't look like a hooker. I chuckled inwardly.

"Its only seven-thirty, mom. I met a girl in class and we went out to eat."

"That's great, baby," She cooed. She flittered around the house a bit more as I watched in silence. I had never seen her so giddy before. She grabbed her heels and purse and headed for the door.

"Don't wait up!" She said perkily.

"Oh, I won't," I replied. She kissed my cheek and left. At least someone around here was getting a little something. I found myself alone, and I usually enjoyed that, but tonight I needed someone I could never have.

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**A banner for this story will be up as soon as my Mist and I can come up with the perfect pictures!**

**What did you think? Why was Edward suddenly an asshole? And how do you feel towards a nerdy Alice?**

**please review! I have a feeling that this story may be my most popular yet!**

**I'll decide on when to post again when I hear how you all are taking it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Beach**

Somehow the next few weeks managed to zoom past us brining the intense summer weather to a scorching hot. I found myself missing the beach more and more each passing day. The Smoky Mountains were lush and green, full of the life that summer brings.

Work had become more enjoyable to me as I was able to begin attending to the larger farm animals. Jacob was around to make sure I handled everything all right, but he didn't hover. For that, I was grateful and not so self conscious. A lot of people around town had begun to ask for me specifically when they brought in their animals.

School was strange, but it had gotten better since my first day. Alice and I met Rosalie Hale who came into the class a couple of days late. She, too was new coming from Georgia. It was fascinating to me and Alice how she somehow chose to be around us in comparison to the other people in class. She came from a wealthy family and she was extremely beautiful. Rosalie was the perfect counterpart to me and Alice. She was my age and had dropped a modeling gig when she came here to begin school. Every guy in the class wanted her, and had tried already, but she was quick to turn them down. I couldn't figure her out, but she was great.

As for Edward, the joking about my bruised face had ended abruptly. The guy hasn't said a word to me since the first day of class and a big part of me wasn't complaining. From afar, though, he appeared just as arrogant. Sadly, most of me was hanging onto the sweet Edward that I had experienced so briefly. Sometimes, I would look over to him and see him looking at me, too. We both looked away quickly, but I felt some sort of static electricity ignite in me each time. I wanted him, but I was too afraid of what that may bring up from within me.

It was Thursday after class and Rosalie and I were waiting for Alice to meet us outside. She had to finish a test for another course, so Rose and I picked a spot out in the grass to sit. Rose tanned, while I hid under layers of sunblock.

"Oh, my God!" Rose suddenly shouted, causing me to jump.

"I forgot to tell you, guys," She continued. I looked over to her perfect body and sighed inwardly. I wasn't sure when the small feeling of jealousy over her would leave me. She laid in very short pink shorts, and a loose black top that showed her pink bra. Her long blonde hair was braided to one side. She probably was God's gift to men.

"My parents just bought a condo at the beach, and since tomorrow and Monday we don't have class... Any way you can get off work?"

"The beach?" Excitement brewed within me.

"Yeah, apparently a ton of people from around here go during this holiday. We could drive out tomorrow and come back Monday. It's only a five hour drive."

"That would be amazing. I think my boss likes me enough to give me tomorrow off, and I have Monday off for the Holiday. But what about Alice?"

"What about her?" Rose asked curiously.

"Well, you know she's not big on all that stuff." Rose huffed at me.

"She needs a serious makeover, and I'm gonna give it to her. She's a fox, she just doesn't know it hiding under all those baggy clothes. Don't worry, she'll come."

"Come where?" Alice asked suddenly coming up behind us. Rose and I looked to each other expectantly.

"Uh," I staggered, before Rose cut in.

"The beach. We're going for the weekend. You in?" Alice shuffled on her feet beneath all her books.

"I don't know, guys. I have a lot of homework," She began slowly.

"Homework? Please, girl. You need to live a little. You're coming." Rose always managed to get her way, but I could see a slight nod and then a smile behind Alice's lips. She was excited, too. Just then, the boys of the soccer team began to fill the field. I wanted to get up and run right away, knowing Edward would see me and think I was here to watch him.

"Do they ever actually compete?" I asked.

"Sometimes, but it's rare. They just like to play," Alice said.

Suddenly, a tall husky guy jogged up to us. I had disliked him from the start being one of the guys who made fun of me and Alice with Edward. I looked to Alice who was staring at me with a worried expression.

"Hey, Rosalie," The guy said with wiggling eyebrows. Rose didn't even look up to see him.

"What do you want, Emmett?" She droned.

"You going to the beach this weekend?" He asked hopeful, knowing she didn't care enough to even look at him. Up close he was even taller and muscular than he appeared from afar. His green jersey stretched across his broad chest tightly.

"Maybe my girls and I will float down for a day or so. We'll see," She said absently.

"I'll keep an eye out for you," Emmett replied smiling. He looked to Alice and then me for a split second with a pleading look before jogging away. Rose sat up after he was gone and laughed.

"Jeez that boy has it bad," She joked.

"He's the only one that hasn't given up, yet," I teased. Rosalie laughed. We grew silent for a moment, watching the field. Edward was on the opposite side kicking a soccer ball in the air with his knee. My insides twisted.

"Ali," Rose began wondering, "Who's that boy over there that's staring at you?" Alice dropped a big book to the grass startled that Rose had noticed. I had seen the skinny guy around the halls before, but he wasn't in our class.

"Jasper Whitlock," Alice whispered.

"And who might Jasper be?" Rose hedged. Alice dropped to the ground beside us, defeated.

"This amazing and beautiful guy that I have liked since high school," Ali gushed.

"Have you ever talked to him before? He's still looking at you," I noted sweetly. Alice's cheeks were bright red, staring back to him as she spoke.

"Um, sort of... He borrowed a pen from me once in Trig last year. He tried to give it back, but I told him to keep it. I've even seen him use it since then!" She said dreamily. Rose laughed wholeheartedly.

"Oh, you're definitely coming to the beach now, and I'm giving you both makeovers. Come on, get up!" Rose ordered, rising. "We're going shopping."

The next morning arrived too soon. I had slept over at Rosalie's house with Alice so that we could all get ready and leave for the beach together. Rose had us up at six and on the road by 7:30. She was like a Barbie drill sergeant. I called Jacob yesterday and asked for the day off. He gave it to me without another thought, but made me promise to make it up to him. It was a little strange, but I got the day off, so I didn't care. The drive was beautiful. We played loud music and each took turns driving Rosalie's mustang. Alice, believe it or not, was wearing black shorts and a white fitted tank top that she bought yesterday. She was really coming into her own around us. I knew I had found amazing friends in these two girls because I had never been around anyone but my mother where I felt that I could freely be myself.

The condo we were in was more like a high end apartment building. Alice and I expected some sort of little beach house instead, but we weren't complaining. The condo was luxurious to say the least. The interior design was all beach colors and plush furniture.

"I forgot my backpack in the car. I'll be right back," I told Rose easily. Alice was bouncing on her queen sized bed like a six year old girl. We laughed at her silliness.

"Here's the keys," Rose replied, tossing them to me.

On my way back up from getting my bag I hummed the song that was stuck in my head and popped in a piece of gum. When the elevator doors opened to my floor, I stepped out and walked to our door bobbing my head singing, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, happily. Just as I stuck the room key in its slot, I felt someone watching me. I turned my head to the left and saw Edward standing in a doorway smiling widely at me. My cheeks went crimson and my stomach dropped. He crossed his arms, amused by me. I wanted to say something that would maybe redeem my childish and girly behavior, but I couldn't find my voice. We stared at each other for a long moment before I pulled the card key out and my door unlocked. Just before I stepped inside, I saw Edward wink at me.

I came back into our room in a daze.

"What's wrong with you?" Alice asked coming up to me. They had turned more music on in my absence causing my deep thoughts to scatter away from me.

"Edward just winked at me... He's rooming next door." Alice and Rosalie immediately began clapping and jumping up and down. I watched them in horror.

"That means Jasper is next door!" Alice chirped.

"And Emmett!" Rosalie added. "And it is a conjoining room!

"Um." I couldn't think of how to address this new scenario and why my friends were so excited for it.

"Bella, chill. This weekend is going to be so fun. I'm breaking out the liquor early," Rose said in her thick husky southern accent.

"Now you'll get to see the real Edward again, hopefully," Alice told me softly.

"What if I don't want to?" I countered putting a hand on my hip. Alice and Rose both gave me a look of disbelief. I shrugged and sighed, sitting down on the white couch made of suede. My breathing slowed and Rose handed me a light colored drink in a small glass. It had a dark amber liquid sitting beneath what looked like milk.

"What's this?" I asked worriedly.

"Poison," She replied dead panned. I looked at her annoyed.

"It's a White Russian. Jesus, Bella," She corrected, rolling her eyes. I took a sip and was happy to find that it was delicious. I took another drink, but bigger this time.

"All right," I began forcefully, "Alice, since when did you become so ballsy? And Rose, when the fuck did you start to give two shits about Emmett?" Both girls almost choked on their White Russians at my outburst.

"You're drinking Alice?" I asked, shocked. Alice shrugged her tiny shoulders and smiled.

"It's high time I start living," She stated proudly. It was hard to picture the girl I met at the beginning of the summer and I wasn't sure which Alice I liked better. The soft spoken geeky one, or this new bodacious one.

"I'm not saying that I like Emmett," Rose began defensive, "But he is pretty hot."

"Yeah, and thanks to you guys," Alice continued, "I've finally begun to have some fun. I would still be the sad and alone pathetic nerd girl I was if you two hadn't of come along." I smiled at Alice for the compliment.

"But why are they rooming next to us? And why the fuck do I even care about Edward? Sometimes I want him to hold me, then other times I just want to jump his bones and never see him again. I don't get it." I finished my drink and slammed it down on the table. "I barely know the guy," I added sadly. Both girls came and took a set on either side of me. Rose began to rub my back.

"Don't think about the why's. And don't question anything, just go with it. I wanted this weekend to be about letting go and having fun. No regrets. And I want all three of us to get laid." I could feel the heat from Alice's cheeks beside me, matching my own. We giggled and made a pact to just go with the flow of this vacation weekend. Whatever happened, happened. I stopped expecting, and began doing instead. I could handle that, couldn't I?

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**To those of you wondering about an Epi, Futuretake, or Outtake to, The Letters: There will be something! I am apart of the Compilation for the hurricane sandy relief, and that will be my contribution. I will be allowed to post that freely here, after January 15, so hold out!**

**Also, my story The Grand Affair that I wrote for the SU4K cause will be posted after the 1st of January. It is my first one shot, and I can't wait for you guys to read it!**

**I hope you're enjoying this fic so far. I haven't ever written one like it before, so this is new to me, too.**

**Teaser... You can maybe possibly expect some Dom/Sub things in future chapters ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**All right, guys, Happy day before Thanksgiving! This Chapter is probably my absolutely favorite...**

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**Chapter 4:**

**Diamonds**

Our first night in the condo went by quickly. Rosalie gave us the makeovers she promised, we drank a lot, and even went skinny dipping in the ocean at two in the morning. It was the perfect girls night. Although, between the three of us, we all took turns listening and looking for any sign of the men next door to our room. There was loud laughter and what sounded like video games playing until just before we all fell asleep by three or four. I was glad that I didn't see Edward again. I was still too confused and shy about everything. I wanted one more day to prepare myself for our next random encounter.

Alice's makeover really improved all her assets. Rose trimmed her hair shorter causing it to align with her face beautifully, and taught her more about makeup. When we shopped back home before leaving, Rose made me buy my first push-up bra. It was mortifying, but wearing it now, it really did help push up what little I had.

It was Saturday night and after a lot of coercing from Rosalie, we were getting ready to leave for a local night club on the beach. Apparently on Saturday's the club called The X, threw paint raves. Whatever that is, we didn't know, including Rosalie. We had an inkling, so we didn't dress up incredibly nice. Alice stood next to me at our vanity applying her contacts. She looked a lot older without her square rimmed glasses on. She decided on white shorts, like Rose and myself. They were short shorts definitely, but they left enough to be imagined as well. Ali wore a pale yellow fitted tank top with a black bra beneath it. Rose chose a light pink colored one with a hot pink bra under it. She assured me and Alice that it was the in thing, and I had noticed it around town lately. Their shirts clung to their curves while I decided on a looser, more flowing pale turquoise top with a black bra. It went perfectly with my white shorts and black Vans accordingly. I let my hair air dry from the shower and straightened a few curly strands that laced my hair line. The rest, I let fall kinked up in its long length. Rose curled her long platinum hair. For the first time, I didn't feel so intimidated by her because I felt pretty, too. I hadn't ever been to a rave before and it had been too long to remember the last time I got to dress up with girlfriends. Stepping back from the large mirror, we stared at ourselves appreciatively.

"We are hot," Rose chirped. I was inclined to agree with her. We each were so different but melted perfectly together. Neither girls had much of an ass, but I did, which made up for my flat chest that they definitely had. Our hair colors went blonde, auburn and brown. Surprisingly, our eyes went together, too, being blue, brown, and green.

"Wow," Alice added. I picked up my iPhone from the counter and held it in front of me facing the mirror. With a girl on either side of me, we smiled.

"Photo op," I said grinning. We left the condo feeling high on life (and some alcohol), as we began our walk down to the club. Something strange began to brew in my stomach. I couldn't place it, so I ignored it.

The X could be heard down the beach from the banging music within its four walls. We had to wait in line for a while before being let in. There were a lot of guys that whistled at and to us which flattered me and Alice. We didn't think that Rose had even heard them, though. The bouncer marked mine and Rosalie's hand with a green X to prove that we were twenty-one while Alice got a pink X. Once inside, we promised to sneak her drinks. The club was hard to see in at first as our eyes adjusted to all the neon lights.

"That's the largest disco ball I have ever seen!" Rose yelled to us over the music. I followed Rosalie's pointed finger and sure enough, a big disco ball hung above the middle of the dance floor. For some reason, it hadn't been turned on. The rave wasn't supposed to start quite yet, so we made our way to a small table in the back.

"What is this music?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, I've never heard it," Alice added.

"I've heard this song before, but not like this," Rose continued.

"It's dubstep!" I said happily.

"Dubstep?" Alice inquired. I nodded my head to her.

"I like it," Rose offered.

"I fucking love it. I'm so glad they play It here. Any club I've ever been to just plays techno to dance-"

"Holy shit," Rose interrupted, grabbing both Alice and I by the hand. She nodded her head towards the entrance. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett were seen walking into the club smiling. Emmett found Rosalie immediately and nodded to us, making Edward and Jasper see us, too. For the second time on this vacation, I wanted to run and hide. I couldn't, however, with Rosalie gripping my hand so tightly. The three men went to the bar, then came to us with drinks. We sat in awe the entire time watching them move.

"This is it, ladies," Rose told us excitedly. "Remember, go with the flow!" Alice and I nodded absently. Seeing Edward coming towards me with a drink in each hand, I began to find my bearings. I wasn't afraid of him. This confrontation I would be in control of by being myself. His copper hair changed colors with each new flashing neon light. He wore loose jeans that hung sexily low and a black v-neck. If I could of died by the sight of his beauty, I would have already. I managed a small smile as he came up to me.

"Thanks," I heard Alice beside me. Jasper handed her a drink and leaned in closer to her. Ali held her own and I couldn't help my shocking stare.

"Bella," Edward said, demanding my attention. I looked back to him and was floored by his hazel eyes. They burned into mine almost like they were trying to tell me something. They shined with life and it was invigorating to see. He smiled at me and offered the blue colored drink. I took it and held it to my nose, smelling it.

"It's called a Windex. Don't ask what's in it," He told me with a crooked grin. It burned my nose, but I opted out on questioning him and took a big drink down in one gulp. It ignited my throat with a fire so cold that it made me cough. Edward chuckled kindly. I extended the drink away from me at arms length, examining it.

"Wow," I choked out. I felt like my breath could start a fire.

"They're intense, I know," He replied. My ears kept hearing spouts of conversation between Alice and Rosalie on either side of me. Rose's husky southern accent turned to liquid sex with Emmett as they discussed dancing, and Alice was saying something about Trigonometry to Jasper. The guy's cheeks were bright red, so I knew she wasn't speaking math to him. He had dirty blonde hair that was wavy and green eyes matching Alice's. I smiled widely at my two friends feeling accomplished. Before I could begin a conversation with Edward, a PA system sounded over the crowd. It was a woman's voice and she sounded extremely excited.

"Anyone that wishes to be painted, take your spot and dance the night away. Let the rave begin."

I took notice to the top of the club. Up on rafters were tall white buckets and people running around dressed in black. I crossed my eyebrows in confusion.

"What's going to happen?" I asked Edward, still watching the cloaked people above me.

"Would you like to dance with me and find out?" My eyes shot down to his. He was still sporting that attractive crooked smile at me. Insecurities began to course though body at the thought of dancing. It had been a long time since I had danced to anything other than old show tunes with Renee. I looked to Rose expectantly but saw her take Emmett's hand. Alice did the same with Jasper and the four of them found spots on the dance floor. I took a deep breath.

"Okay," I agreed. Edward's smirk broke into a brilliant smile. He raised his glass to me.

"Here's to diamonds," He stated happily.

"Diamonds?" He finished his drink then leaned to my ear to whisper. His breath was the hottest cold I had ever felt.

"Come see," He whispered. I shivered slightly as he pulled away. I finished my drink and nodded. He set our glasses down on the table behind us and offered his hand to me. I took it slowly wanting to feel every groove, and I did. He had soft hands yet they were rough, too. Everything about him wasn't just one thing, it was everything. Edward chose the spot in the middle of the dance floor. He didn't let go of my hand right away as we stared at one another. If only eyes could speak words. The excitement of what was to come filled the room in a blissful aura. Edward tentatively placed his hands on my hips, allowing me to put mine on his shoulders. We were at arms length, and it felt like we were getting ready to dance at our eighth grade prom.

Suddenly, music sounded from all around us. I listened to it boom and boom, but it was not loud, yet. Edward appeared to be waiting for something because he wasn't moving, just watching me. Everyone else around us had begun to dance in tune with the booming. I would have felt awkward being frozen still if his glare had not been so overpowering. Everything around me heightened in anticipation.

Just then, all the neon lights in the room cut off. Small gasps could be heard from the crowd. It was only a few seconds in the dark before black lights illuminated all around the club. Clothes began to glow and skin grew dark. Edward pulled my hips hard, jolting me to his chest and knocking the wind out of me. His scent filled my lungs when I could breath again and it was heavenly. I kept our hips pressed together and looked up to him. He smiled showing his now glowing teeth.

Edward winked at me as soon as the disco ball turned on and the music pushed into its full intensity. He began to move, taking me with him. It was awkward at first and I felt embarrassed, so I stopped. Edward watched me carefully. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes allowing the music to move for me. My hands shifted from his shoulders to wrap around his neck. I tightened my grip as hard as Edward had around my waste. Moving again, I opened my eyes to see everything shining. I looked around us and was astounded at all the diamonds bouncing and moving around the space from the large ball above us. I smiled widely and gave in fully. My hips ground against Edward in such a pleasurable way. The song shifted into a dubstep version. The bodies surrounding us bumped together. Edward abruptly let go of my hips and removed my hands from around his neck. Worry worked its way in to strangle my beating heart.

Edward removed his shirt and tossed it out away from him. My eyes widened in shock but began to see everyone else in the club doing the same thing. Girls, too, including my best friends. Emmett held Rosalie tight to his bare chest with her in just that hot pink bra. Then looking to Alice I could see Jasper helping her remove her own shirt. Wonder took over the worry in me as I looked back to Edward. He didn't have a look of expectation for me to remove my shirt, which filled my heart, except that I wanted to remove it. I did, hastily, dropping it to the floor. Standing in front of him in my black push-up bra, I waited for those insecurities to drown me, but they never came. My small chest was just as good as any other in the room. Edward smiled and placed his hands back on my hips. My own hands went straight to his face as we began to dance again.

I never wanted to stop seeing the diamonds. They illuminated Edward's face and body bouncing off of my own bareness. Our breathing grew rough with all the harsh movement against the music, but we didn't grow tried or slow down in any way. With my hands still on either side of his face, I pulled him to me just as soon as wet liquid poured over us. My head shot up to the sky to see glowing paint fall over top of us. This explained the bare chests, the song, the black lights, and the diamonds immediately. I reveled in it. Paint was being thrown out like rain drowning the crowd. Edward laughed. Our bodies were slick against each other making the dancing more intense somehow. Paint stained my skin and hair. I couldn't take anymore. With diamonds shining in Edward's eyes I crashed my mouth to his. Cold fire spread between us and I could taste the paint on our wrestling tongues. He kissed me hard with fever and his short nails dug into my exposed hip bones. I threw my arms over his shoulders and allowed him to devour my mouth. When I bit down on his bottom lip, he moaned. Our kiss broke only when neither of us could breath anymore. I stared at him in the same way he did me. We were stricken; in awe of one another. He was like owning the most rare of diamonds with my body and soul. I lost myself. We continued to move and let the song, the paint, the dancing, and the diamonds rule us completely.

_I knew that we'd become one right away_

_Oh, right away_

_At first sight I felt the energy of sun rays_

_I saw the life inside your eyes_

_So shine bright tonight, you and I_

_We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky_

_Eye to eye, so alive_

_We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky_

_Shine bright like a diamond_

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**Well?! Did you guys like it? :) it was so fun to write and it brought our favorite people together.**

**The song is Diamonds, by Rihanna. I highly recommend listening I the song when reading this. It totally intensifies it****_. _**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Letters has received over 100 reviews! The most any of my stories has ever gotten. I am so unbelievably thankful. I hope you enjoy this new story. Here's to Thanksgiving!**

**xx**

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**Chapter 5:**

**Old Demons**

The following morning found me with burning eyes and a dry throat. I sat up abruptly in Edward's bed. He wasn't next to me, but I didn't complain. I needed a few minutes alone anyway. I had a vivid memory of the night before, and we didn't have sex. I was more than fine with that, and I think he was, too. After the rave we were exhausted and our limbs felt like jelly, but I didn't want to leave him. The uneasy feeling from the night before hadn't left me completely.

Edward offered me his bed and I was quick to accept. He held me while I slept, and I had never slept better. I closed my eyes and thought of diamonds. My phone rang breaking me from my thoughts. I leaned over and grabbed my obnoxious iPhone off the bedside table.

"Hey, mom," I said groggily.

"How's it going down there, baby?"

"Great. We went to an awesome dance club last night."

"That sounds like fun," She cooed. All of a sudden she giggled loudly and I could hear a faint voice in the background. A deep voice.

"Where are you?" I asked. I listened hard, but heard nothing, now.

"So, when are you coming home?"

"Uh, Monday morning, I think," I replied, while scratching some paint off of my forearm.

"Good, I'll see you then. Love you," She said before ending the call. That was strange of her. I shrugged my shoulders and put my phone back down just as Edward came into the room. He still had paint on him from the night before, too. In his hands was a tray of food and orange juice. I smiled widely.

"Morning, sleepy," He said kindly.

"Hi," I replied shyly. I was still in my bra and shorts from the previous night and the bed sheets were stained with paint. Edward wore just his jeans.

"Hungry?" He asked, sitting on the bed.

"Famished," I teased.

"Good. Eggs, bacon, and juice."

"Perfect." He offered me a plate. It was quiet while we shoved food down our throats, but not awkward. I finished first and took my orange juice down in one take.

"I feel good," I said. "Last night was so fun." He nodded to me with a mouth full of food.

"How did you know what was going to happen?" I asked him. He swallowed his food.

"I worked there last summer. It's pretty fun, right?"

"Yes," I said nodding. "I want to go again." Edward chuckled. I looked to his naked torso again that was splattered with neon paint. It stuck in his chest hair and a secret part of me just wanted to lick it off. I quickly shook my dirty thought away and sighed lightly.

"Where is everyone else?" I asked.

"Between your room and this room, they're around. All still sleeping, though.

"Oh. Thanks for asking me to dance," I told him quietly.

"Thanks for dancing with me," He replied. We looked at each other for a moment and smiles broke across our lips.

"I need a shower. Do you want to go first?" He offered.

I bit my lip and thought for a second. Edward stared at my mouth. I released my lip and got off the bed grabbing his hand. He followed me into the bathroom dutifully. I shut the door and locked it. I stood in front of Edward at the vanity and placed my thin hand on his chest. He breathed in slowly. Suddenly, someone within me came out and took over. I sat and watched myself with wide eyes.

"Do you like me, Edward?" I purred.

"Yes," He breathed.

"Do you think that we'll begin seeing each other monogamously?" He hesitated for a moment. My hand trailed lower to his belly button and stopped. His breathing was now harsh.

"I want to try," He offered. My eyes went back to his. He was worried about something, but I didn't care about what, yet. There were so many questions to be asked, but neither of us were ready for the answers.

"Do you want to have sex with me?" I asked, all fear gone from me. Edward raised his eyebrows. This part of me knew how to handle a man.

"Is this a trick question?" He asked carefully.

"No, in all seriousness."

"Okay. Honestly? Yes, I do."

"Well, I'm not ready for that, yet. I don't want us to jump into it. Do you think you can wait?" I looked back to my hand on his stomach and ruffled the hair there. Edward hesitated again. I waited.

"Yes," He replied hoarsely. My eyes went back to his and saw truth in them.

"It will be just as hard for me to resist as it will you," I offered. Edward chuckled until my hand went lower, resting on his waste band.

"Good thing there are other things to do besides sex," I whispered. Edward quickly grabbed my hand away from his pants and lifted my chin upward. His mouth came to mine forcefully. I kissed him with all I had, and opened my mouth to his. He overruled it with his tongue instantly.

The blue flame between us ignited in full force. I made no protest when his hands went to the clasp of my bra, undoing it. I pulled it off my shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Edward broke our kiss, leaving me wanting. He stepped back to stare at me. Just then, I crashed back into myself. My better half left me in the dark. I stood awkwardly in front of Edward and immediately brought my arms over my chest to cover me. I didn't expect an examination.

"Don't," He said. I didn't look to his eyes or remove my arms. I shifted my weight on my feet.

"Look at me," He said more forcefully. I raised my head and was met with his burning eyes.

"You're perfect." I bit my lip.

"Don't bite your lip," He ordered. I released it shamefully.

"I can't take you doing what I want to do to you," He voiced softly. I wanted to cry. Was Deja'Vu real? Demons were forcing their way into me like thick oil seeping through a cracked wall. Edward reached over and pulled my arms down, exposing my small breasts. He took one in his hand and caressed it softly. I shivered. He let go and went to the shower turning it on. I wanted to run again, but couldn't move because I wanted to stay just as badly. Where was the courage I had moments before? Why did she leave me? I watched in silence as Edward removed his jeans and then his boxers. It was amazing. His bare back was toned. Every groove was as if it had been personally carved by the God's. I shivered again when he turned to face me full frontal. Of course I stared at his hard piece first. His chest hair lead a trail all the way down that my eyes followed at least twice. Edward waited for me to come back down to earth. My hands moved without say so as they removed my shorts and underwear. At least I had shaved my legs the night before. Rosalie almost talked me into shaving my pubic hair, but I thought it was weird. Why would a man want a naked vagina? I chuckled at the memory.

"What's funny?" He asked smiling. He adjusted the light by the vanity to a dull glow. It was all so inviting.

"Nothing," I defended shyly.

I walked over to him and steam poured out of the shower wrapping us in a thick fog. Edward took my hand and we stepped under the hot cascade. The water gathered at our feet full of color from the paint. I finished wetting my hair when Edward grabbed the shampoo bottle.

"I'll do you, if you do me?" He proposed with a smirk. I laughed at his joke and took the shampoo bottle squirting some onto my palm. Putting the bottle back, my hands went to his hair. A thick lather formed. He bowed his head allowing me to massage his scalp. I finished and he started on my hair. It took longer because of its length, but I never wanted him to stop. Showering with him, letting him wash me had to be more intense than any sex could ever be. I had never felt more vulnerable in my life. I washed his back, his neck, his arms and his face. I thought that was all I would get, but he took my hand and placed it over his throbbing penis. My entire arm shook with tremors. He tightened his grip over my hand that covered him. To say that I was embarrassed was an understatement. I was mortified. A man had never stood before me so openly before. I was afraid, and that made me hate myself. He was so confident and strong, so I could not let him down. I swallowed fear like I was trying to swallow a whole gum ball. It hurt, but it went down.

I washed his private area and felt relieved when it was over. Although, surprisingly I felt pride, too. I did it. I didn't fail. Now, he thought it was his turn. Tremors returned and shook me hard. Edward placed his hands on my shoulders. I looked up to his face to see it chiseled with worry. My tremors slowed beneath his touch. All of a sudden I realized that I had been crying. The shower steam and cascade hid it perfectly. I looked to him pleadingly as if telling him no, and yes at the same time. He took it as the go ahead. Everything he was doing to me opened up old wounds that I didn't understand or could remember fully. I was afraid and I needed him to take it away. He cupped my unknown with his hand. I gasped. It felt foreign until he began to wash me. It was strangely erotic. The dim light made seeing through the steam much harder. His eyes watched what he was doing to me intently. He appeared to be amazed by me. Me, Bella Swan, not anyone else. It was me who stood broken before him. Everything that was unfolding before me showed that he, too, had his own demons locked away tight.

Edward washed my chest and back just before the water grew cold. I looked to the drain water stained with our paint remnants. I could swear that I saw diamonds amongst it, too. We stepped out and he handed me a large warm towel. I dried quickly and grabbed another towel to wrap my hair in. I wanted Rosalie and Alice desperately. My head was going to burst. But I realized that I needed Edward for something. I could not figure out what it was, but I knew that it went beyond lust.

"I guess I should go to my room for clothes," I said quietly. We were back in his room. Sunlight poured through the windows and I knew that it was at least noon.

"Will I see you again?" He asked sadly. His eyes watched me.

"Yes. We leave tomorrow morning. So, um, tonight?" He nodded and flashed his crooked grin. I held my dirty clothes to my chest tightly and slipped on my vans. I reached for my iPhone on the nightstand.

"We should probably exchange numbers, yeah?" I said laughing.

"I already did," He told me. Looking, sure enough I found Edward in my contacts list. He had called himself to give my number. I smiled at the gesture. He came over to me and wrapped his arms around my wet body. I breathed in his scent. We pulled apart and he dropped his hands. I was about to walk away, but stopped and turned my head back. He watched me curiously. I kissed his mouth gently for a long moment. Then, I left with part of me missing. Luckily, it would only be next door... For now.

Our room was quiet upon my return and my heart sank. My friends must be out with their guys still. I dressed causal in black shorts and a grey t-shirt with no bra. I felt relief when our door opened.

"Bella?" Alice called. "Are you here?" I came into the living room smiling. Rose and Alice sported the same smile as they ran over to me. We hugged tightly all together as one.

"We have a lot to discuss," I told them.

"And I ordered piña colada's and cigarettes for the occasion!" Rose replied.

"Come to the patio," Alice nudged.

Seated outside at a small round table I began to feel like myself again. I flicked my cigarette in the ashtray and took another drink of my alcohol. It went down my throat soothingly. My friends had a constant glow in their cheeks, and it was nice to see.

"Who goes first?" I asked.

"Youngest to oldest," Rose suggested. Alice whined but complied.

"I gave him a blow job," Alice said. Rose and I squealed in delight before falling quiet to let her finish.

"He's so amazing you guys. I wanted to have sex, but we ended up falling asleep instead."

"Did he get you off?" Rose huffed. Alice's cheeks went crimson. I hollered knowing full well that he did.

"He has magic hands," Alice whispered.

"Right on, Ali," Rose cheered. She put her cigarette out and sat back in her chair. We looked to her expectantly.

"Yes, I fucked him!" She said frantically with a large smile on her face. "And girls, he's not just big up top." Alice scrunched her nose and I laughed.

"But do you like him?" Alice asked.

"As a person," I clarified.

"Yeah, I think I do," Rose said dreamily. We laughed and winced at her more explicit details from the previous night. The woman was wild, and now I had something new to envy about her. I wanted to be just as self confident as Rosalie Hale. Even Alice, now.

"I know I'm the only non-virgin at this table," Rose stated proudly, "So I am here to teach." Alice laughed, but I grew quiet. The girls didn't notice, thankfully.

"Alright, Bella, your turn," Alice hedged. "Did you get to see the real Edward?" I nodded my answer.

"We didn't do anything, though." The girls' faces fell dramatically.

"Nothing?" Rose asked.

"Well... We showered together and that was pretty intense, let me tell you."

"That's so sweet!" Alice cooed.

"So, you saw him naked then?" Rose inquired.

"Yeah. He's so beautiful." Both girls smiled at me knowingly. I stubbed my cigarette out and watched the smoke drift away in the air. My friends chatted more about their romantic escapades as I stared out to the ocean wondering. My wounds ran deep. I wasn't sure if I was ready to face the demons. I wasn't sure if I was curable. I thought I had ran far enough away from them. Emptiness came back into my body and overtook it like a storm claims the sky. And like the shining stones in my body, the storm removes the diamonds from the sky.

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**Thoughts? Questions?**


	6. Chapter 6

**How was everyones Thanksgiving? I hope you're all still full ;) I am exhausted from Black Friday shopping with two teenage girls... Never again! **

**So enjoy Chapter 6 as we learn a tiny bit more about their past demons and LOOK AT THE AMAZING BANNER FOR THIS STORY! made by the lovely mist!**

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**Chapter 6:**

**Sleep**

Calloused hands rubbed my aching thighs. I shook my head harshly against the hand that now pulled on my hair, dominating me. I wanted more, and I wanted it harder. My lips were as raw as my insides. Liquor filled my nostrils with a burn. I felt teeth against my nipple before a bite came down hard. I cried in pain and ecstasy controlled by another. He filled my center with a harsh thrust and I awoke.

I was sweating and cold. My body jerked upward as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings. Sand made my skin itch. I realized that I was on the beach, alone. I sighed in relief. Fear of my nightmares returning shook me with a jolt. I shoved it all away and locked the door. Sadly, I knew I would loose the key sooner or later.

The ocean had to be the best example when trying to describe my true self. It experiences all emotions that I do. It was calm, cold, warm, endless, restless. It was a free as it stretched but could be overrun by the weather in an instant. I think that when the ocean is silent, that's when she cries.

After the day with Rosalie and Alice I finally took off for a walk down the beach. It was nice to have a few hours to myself and watch the sunset. I brought a bottled water and one cigarette with me as I sat and watched the waves roll in and then back out again. It was twilight, and I suddenly wondered what the time was. I had to of been out here for hours. I shuffled through my pockets and dug out my phone to find the battery dead. I sighed. Sometime tonight I was supposed to be meeting Edward. My lungs filled with fresh air at the thought.

I got up, lit my one stick of cancer, and began my walk back to the condo. After a couple minutes I stopped walking to listen, thinking I heard my name being called. It was distant. I started to walk faster. Suddenly, a silhouette of someone could be seen stalking towards me. I slowed down, afraid. It was dark outside, it was late, and I was on the beach alone. Then, my eyes could see that it was Edward. I smiled. He continued to stalk towards me with an angry expression on his face. My smile faded more with each step he took until he was in front of me.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He yelled. I winced in shock. He continued his stare. He was furious.

"I fell asleep," I defended quietly. He ran a hand through his hair roughly.

"Jesus, Bella, no one has heard from you for hours. Why didn't you charge your phone?" He demanded.

"I forgot," I whispered.

"Don't do that again. There are no nice things that come to beautiful woman on the beach alone at night." If it hadn't of been said through anger, I would have smiled at his half attempt at a compliment.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I knew he was worried about me, but I didn't expect such anger.

"Good," He said. Just then, someone else jogged up the beach. My stomach dropped when Jessica Stanley appeared by Edward, taking his arm. He stiffened at her touch. In fact, thinking back, Edward stiffened at everyone's touch. Even if someone got to close to him, he would tense up in preparation. He didn't do that with me. I wanted to smile, but seeing Jessica's face ruined it.

"Babe, I've been looking for you," She purred. Edward kept his eyes on me. I looked from him to her and something was between them. I couldn't figure out what, but it was something, and it crushed my heart. She noticed his staring at me.

"Edward, lets go," She ordered. Edward's eyes fell from me to the ground. He ripped his had from her grasp and started to walk back towards the condos. I was frozen in place by confusion. Jessica watched him go before turning to me.

"You don't want damaged goods, trust me," She told me with a smirk. I looked into her brown eyes and saw nothing. She scoffed.

"And I don't think he wants damaged goods, either." She chuckled and then jogged off to Edward. My shoulders fell, and I wanted to drop to the ground. I did not, knowing that Rosalie and Alice were probably worried, too, so I walked.

Our condo was loud with music. I hurried in, not wanting to be in the hall close to our next door neighbors. Although, I wondered if Edward made it back safely. I shook my head. I'm sure Jessica took care of that. My heart twisted painfully. Rap music flooded my ears at full blast as I came into the living room. No one was here, that I could see. Rosalie's door was shut and that could mean only one thing. I decided instead to go to the kitchen. I made a sandwich and took the bottle of Vodka with a small orange juice to my room. Just before closing my door, Alice appeared. Her hair messy and wet.

"Bella? Hey, we were looking for you! We all went for a swim." I didn't answer her. Her eyes dropped to the large vodka bottle, then she met my eyes. She pushed past me and into my room. I closed the door.

"What happened?" She demanded.

"Nothing. I fell asleep on the beach." She studied my eyes, and knew there was a lie in them. She grabbed the vodka bottle from me and held it up expecting an explanation. I shrugged my shoulders and tears formed in my eyes. I was crashing, hard.

"Wait right here," She ordered. She left the room with my vodka. Suddenly, the sight of my sandwich made me nauseous. I laid it on my bedside table and sat down on the bed. I plugged my iPhone in to charge. Tears threatened to drop on my cheeks. My door burst open again, and I jumped in surprise. Rosalie and Alice both came in, shut the door, and locked it. The loud music had disappeared from the condo.

"What's going on with you, Bella," Rosalie asked worriedly. They came and sat on the end of the bed expecting an explanation that I had never before given. I wasn't sure if I could, but I was tired of lying.

"I don't know," I told them truthfully. I wiped my eyes and leaned back against the headboard.

"Did something happen with Edward?" Alice asked softy.

"I think this goes beyond Edward," Rose added. I had not known them long and they already knew me. They could read me. That made lying much more difficult. The bigger problem was deciding on where I should begin but Edward came to my mind.

"Alice," I started slowly, "You told me that Edward went through a tragedy. What happened?" Alice shrugged.

"A car accident is all I know. His mom and some friend died. It happened two summers ago." That didn't explain as much as I needed it to, but I took it and stowed it away for later.

"Edward went to a different school than all of us. We only met again when we started at the same college, so I don't think anyone knows a whole lot about him."

"Jessica Stanley does," I huffed.

"I'm gonna kill that bitch," Rose fumed. A small smile came from my mouth.

"He is hers, clearly," I mumbled. "He found me on the beach tonight. He was mad," I said distantly. "He was so mad at me. Then Jessica came up and ordered him to go back with her, and he did without a fight."

"Why was he mad at you?" Rose asked defensively.

"My phone was dead. He said I shouldn't have been out there alone."

"That's true, I guess, but he didn't have to sound so controlling," Alice offered. Controlling? I didn't take it that way, did I? In fact, I wanted him to tell me what to do. It would be better than walking around like the dead. I missed...

"Bella?" Rose asked breaking me from my train of thought. She waved a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"What do you want to do?" Alice asked.

"Sleep. I want to wake up fresh." Both girls nodded and took their cue to leave. I must have dozed off immediately, but no nightmares came to me. If the bad dreams didn't come, it meant that I wasn't truly asleep.

The silence of my room was over powering. I sat up in my bed. The bedside lamp hurt my eyes. It was late, I knew that. Even after my random naps, I was still tired enough to pass back out. My phone buzzed.

_I can't sleep. -E_

My heart swelled. With a charged phone, I unplugged it and saw the text messages from Edward when he was looking for me.

_Where do you want to meet up, and when? -E at 7pm_

_Bella? -E at 8pm_

_Where are you? -E 8:30pm_

_Bella, please answer! -E 9:30pm_

I knew that he found me on the beach just after his last text. He was worried about me. Would he be worried if he was truly with Jessica? Was she with him now? I let anger return to me as I typed a reply to his latest text message.

_Jessica can help with that, I'm sure. -B_

A blue response bubble popped up almost immediately.

_She's gone. For good. -E_

_She told you to go, and you did. -B_

_Only because I didn't want to scare you anymore. -E_

_I wasn't scared of you being an asshole. And what do you mean she's gone? -B_

_I told her to get out and leave me alone. I told her that I want you. -E_

My thumbs hesitated over the keys in surprise. Another message came.

_Come to my bed. -E_

That was all I needed at this moment in time. I stood up and left my room.

His condo was quiet and dark. Snoring could be heard from one room, and what I assumed was sex sounds came from another. I rolled my eyes at my promiscuous friend. Edward's door was cracked and a dim light could be seen. I pushed it open and saw him laying on his back. He was fully dressed and looked to me when I closed to the door. I stood at the entrance awkwardly. He sat up and extended his hand. I stumbled over to him and place my hand in his. He grasped it tightly and brought it to his lips to kiss. A large brush of air left my lungs. His kisses went up my forearm. I closed my eyes and wished that I could let him have whatever he wanted of me. I pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it at my feet. He removed his pants, boxers, too. Being with him like this, everything I ever felt besides him had vanished. Silence spoke volumes between us for all that we could not speak in words. He removed my shorts and my tank top quickly before yanking me to his bed. I laid down with him front to front and breathed in his scent. My bare breasts tickled against his chest hair. I knew that he didn't need me as much as I needed him. Part of me wanted to push him away, but my arms wouldn't move. He would surely be the one to drown me, to let my demons take me.

We must have fallen asleep instantly, because the next time I opened my eyes, sunlight was pouring through the windows. Edward's breathing beside me had me realize that coming to his bed had truly happened. I asked no questions, put up no fight, I just came here. Realizing that it was Monday, I sat up quickly. The clock read eight in the morning and my shoulders eased. We would leave for home today. Part of me was sad. I didn't want to leave the ocean. She was all I could relate to.

"I have to go," I whispered in Edward's ear. He stirred and opened his eyes. They were beautiful. The sun replaced his pupils with the diamonds I had missed so terribly.

"How will I ever sleep without you?" He questioned, as if mostly to himself. I laid my head over his chest. His beating heart thumped peacefully.

"How will I?" I furthered. He sighed.

"Bella, I don't know what this is. I don't know how to do this again."

"Again?" I could hear his heart pace quicken at my question. It worried me.

"Edward," I began, trying to soothe his heart, "I don't know how to any better than you."

"I still want to try," He whispered.

"So do I," I confirmed. I could hear his heart slow down. Suddenly, an abrupt knock came to the door. Edward shifted to pull the sheet over me, to cover my exposed skin. My eyebrows furrowed.

"Bella, we've gotta get going!" Rose ordered.

"Okay," I called back. "She's a drill sergeant," I explained to Edward.

"I heard that!" She called back distantly. Edward and I laughed, and it was the first time we had since the rave. I had missed that, too. Edward sat up.

"Please keep your phone charged," He begged in a whisper. I began getting dressed and nodded my head to him.

"I have a car charger, and I'll text you the whole way," I promised. He looked so sad. I finished dressing and went to stand in front of him between his parted legs off the bed. I leaned in to kiss his mouth. It was soft, slow, and meaningful before he gripped my hair in his hands tightly. The kiss shifted to a devour of so much needing that it hurt. He tugged my hair harder and it terrified me. I pulled away abruptly, standing up straight again.

"What?" He asked breathless.

"You can't pull my hair," I said in a rushed whisper. As much as I loved it, it made me remember a flashback that struck and left as quick as lightening. Edward studied my face carefully.

"I'm sorry," He replied.

"It didn't hurt," I furthered. His worried face turned to one full of confusion. I leaned down and kissed his mouth again. I wanted him, but I wouldn't take him. He kissed me back but with less of himself.

"Text me," I said from the doorway.

"I will," He replied. And I left, knowing he would.


	7. Chapter 7

**I felt like it... I am so into this story. I hope you're all enjoying it! I leave for North Carolina tomorrow with family and such, but I should still be able to post accordingly.**

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**Chapter 7:**

**Naked**

_Where are you now? -E_

_I-40W, mile marker 307. Only 100 more to go! Where are you? -B_

_Emmett has a weak bladder. Mile marker 280. -E_

_At least your friends don't play obnoxious music. -B_

Rosalie was driving again and I was in the back seat. Her and Alice were singing obnoxiously.

_Hey, girls just want to have fun. -E_

_Ha. Funny. I miss you. -B_

_I miss you, more. -E_

_Not possible. -B_

_Oh, trust me. It is. -E_

I bit my lip. Another message came.

_Don't bite your lip. -E_

How did he know?

_Why? -B_

_I want to bite it. -E_

_I think I can allow that. -B_

_When? -E_

_Tonight. I have to see you. -B_

_Where? -E_

_We can't do my house. I don't want my mother to know that I am seeing anyone yet... -B_

_Good, because I don't want my father to know that I'm seeing anyone either... -E_

I wanted to ask why, but decided to do so later.

_So... Where should we go? -B_

_I have a loft in my barn. Meet me at the school at midnight and we will go in my car. -E_

_I have to work in the morning. -B_

_You'll get there, trust me. -E_

_I do. -B_

_Good. Be safe. I'll see you tonight. -E_

_Yes, tonight. xo -B_

_xxoo -E_

I smiled at the screen of my phone and felt excitement pulse through my body.

We made it to Rosalie's house by five and began our goodbyes. I knew I would see them again Wednesday at school, but I didn't want to leave them.

"I'm so glad we did this," Alice cooed.

"Me too," Rose and I said in unison.

"You guys are my best friends," Alice furthered. We hugged tightly. They were mine, too.

My mother's small house was welcoming. It felt better than I thought to come home. Renee ran up to me before I could even drop my bag, or close the front door and threw her arms around me.

"Hi, baby!"

"Hey, mom," I replied choked. She let go immediately to let me breath. She chuckled.

"You look different," She said.

"Oh?" I asked. I closed the door.

"Yeah, maybe it's a tan coming on," She teased, knowing full well that I was just as pale as I was before I left. My skin was almost translucent.

"Ha, ha. You look different, too, actually," I hedged, eyeing her suspiciously. Her cheeks were rose colored and her eyes were full of life.

"I'm just happy, that's all," She said smiling.

"Me too," I replied.

"I made dinner. Steak and potatoes!"

"Thank God. I'm so hungry."

"Go unpack, and I'll bring some up to your room. We can have a movie date, what do you say?"

"Only if I pick the movie."

"Mama Mia, again?" She wined. I nodded enthusiastically. Renee relented and went to the kitchen singing Dancing Queen. My mother always made me feel happy. I may be twenty-one, but I still felt like I was mommy's little girl. I never wanted that to go away, either.

My room was just as I had left it. I put my clothes away from the duffle bag and went for the toiletries. My mother and I shared a conjoining bathroom. I didn't mind because she spent more time in there than I did. I put my deodorant on the counter with my toothbrush. I turned to walk out but caught sight of something in my peripheral sticking out from under the bed in my mother's room. I wouldn't have noticed at all except that my mother was an intense neat freak. I pushed the door to her room open all the way and left the bathroom to go to her bed. A pair of men's black briefs jutted out from underneath the bed skirt. My stomach tightened. I looked around her room and everything else was as immaculate as always. She missed this, obviously. Suddenly, I heard footsteps and kicked the underwear further under the bed, and went back to my room.

"Dinner is served!" Renee announced proudly.

"It smells amazing," I said. She handed me the plate of food off of her tray and then a glass of white wine. We put Mama Mia in my DVD player and sang along happily to the musical between bites of food. I wanted to ask her about the underwear, and I could have, I just wasn't sure I was ready to hear it. Renee had always been open about sex. Too open in fact, but if she was happy, I was happy. I knew she would not like to hear about Edward, though. After passed events, she asked that I never tell her about my own sexual life again for a while. And I wouldn't tell her until I absolutely had to.

_I'm here. -B_

I hit the send button on my iPhone and waited for a reply. The college parking lot was creepy at night being so empty and dark.

_Pulling in. -E_

I looked up to see head lights approaching me. I grabbed my bag and got out of my car, locking it. I threw the keys in my bag and slung it over my shoulder walking to Edward's car. I got in quickly.

"Hi," I breathed happily.

"Hey," He replied smiling. He put the car in gear and we left the school. Music wafted quietly from the speakers. Edward wore dark jeans and a white shirt. His hair was wild and it drove me crazy. We didn't speak again the entire way to his house, but he offered his hand to me over the center console. I took it securely not caring for any words at the moment.

His house wasn't far from the college but it was deep in the woods. The driveway alone was half the drive time. I wished it were light outside so that I could see the property.

"You own all this land?" I asked in surprise.

"My dad does, yeah. It's been in my family for a long time." We came to a small fork. I could see a house up to the right on a hill, but Edward turned left and drove until we were in front of a large red barn. We got out quietly and went inside through a door off to the side. The barn smelt of horses immediately and some could be heard back in the stalls, though it was too dark to see to see the creatures. I followed Edward up a set of stairs until we came into a small apartment. Gold light illuminated the small space from a lamp by his leather couch. There was a tiny kitchen, a living room, and two doors off to the right. A very large window lined the entire left wall, showing the night sky. I walked over to the window to look out. It was beautiful. The sky was clear, and stars twinkled brightly.

Edward came up behind me and took my bag.

"Thanks," I said softly.

"Do you want a screwdriver?" He asked.

"Please." He went to the kitchen and began the makings. I turned to watch him.

"So, tell me," I began lightly, "You have horses?"

"A few," He said with a smirk. "Why?" I shrugged.

"What is your major?" I asked.

"Business."

"And you're in an Equis class because..."

"I needed one more elective to graduate. I knew the class would be incredibly easy for me. I've been around and worked with horses my whole life." For that reason, he became more attractive to me, which I thought was impossible. He poured orange juice over the vodka and stirred.

"Do you want ice?" He asked.

"Please. What do you want to do after graduating?"

"My grandfather left an animal feed business to me. He said it was mine, as long as I went to college. I work their now, learning the ropes from his friend."

"Do you ride horses?" He looked at me with his crooked grin.

"Right. Of course you do," I said laughing nervously. "Could you teach me?" I asked. He hesitated and stopped moving for a moment. I stopped breathing. Had I said something wrong? Finally, he moved again.

"Yes."

"Soon?"

"Yes," He said again. He came over to me and I took my drink. It tasted perfect.

"What is your major?" He asked, deciding to take a seat on the couch.

"I have an associates in Veterinary Technology."

"An animal lover. Makes sense." He smiled. I slowly went and sat down next to him, taking another drink of my screwdriver. He very tentatively pushed the hair off of my shoulder and behind my ear. My breathing hitched. I wanted to speak, but I took another drink instead.

"You're nervous," He stated.

"Yes," I breathed.

"Why?"

"I don't know," I admitted truthfully.

"We should get you out of those clothes," He suggested softly.

"Why do you always like me naked?"

"Why not?" He countered. I didn't have an answer, but I smiled. Slowly, I removed my hoodie. Edward got up and went to his CD player. John Legend came through the speakers quietly. I removed my shirt and shorts, leaving my underwear. Edward undressed and came over to me. I would never stop having the initial shock of seeing his perfect naked body before me. He was so free and comfortable about it. He came and sat on the floor between my legs. I stopped breathing.

"I don't know what it is, but I need you so badly." His voice was hoarse.

"Me too," I croaked. My throat was dry. I took another drink then set it down on the table beside the couch. I ran my fingers through his soft hair.

"I want to know everything about you," I told him. He stiffened slightly.

"There isn't much to know," He said easily.

"It is a small town..." I offered. He put his hands on my thighs, squeezing them.

"Why can't I pull your hair?" He countered. My shoulders fell this time and I dropped my hand from his hair.

"For the same reason you won't let me bite my lip," I whispered.

"And what reason is that, Bella?" My name sounded erotic against his lips. I couldn't answer in words. I was too ashamed. I put my mouth to his and devoured it like it was the sweetest chocolate. It surprised him, but he recovered quickly. He bit my bottom lip and I gasped, taking him harder. His hands ran up my thighs, to my stomach, and then to cup my breasts. He squeezed them lightly. I moved my hands to either side of his cheek to pull him closer to me. Suddenly, he stopped and pulled away. My breathing was erratic like his.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He shook his head panting. His hands went to my underwear and yanked them off. His roughness turned me on further. He spread my legs wide. I tried snapping them closed, but he was too strong. He stared at my exposed center in amazement. Tears sprang to my eyes as if on cue. His hands moved up my thighs getting closer and closer.

"Don't," I begged, trembling. Edward's hands ripped away from me as he took in my eyes. He crossed his eyebrows in pain.

"What is it?" He asked. I shook my head, forcing tears to fall from my eyes. They dropped to my legs.

"I'm sorry," He said. I threw my arms around him in a hug, crying hard.

"I just haven't done this in a long time. I know how to do you, but me? I don't like myself. I just..." I spoke through the sobs that racked my chest.

"Shh, it's okay, Bella. It's all okay," He soothed. He rubbed my back and buried his face in my neck. I cried harder causing Edward to tighten his grip.

"God, what happened to you? Please tell me," He begged. His voice cracked. My crying slowed but I didn't pull away.

"I wasn't raped if that's what you're thinking," I whispered. "It was in a relationship that I don't want to talk about right now. I can't-"

"You don't have to, yet," He assured, stepping in. "I'm willing to wait." New tears formed.

"I want to work through it. I'm just ashamed."

"Of your body?"

"I don't like it, and when you stare..." I slacked off, not wanting to continue.

"I'm sorry. But I only stare because you're so beautiful." I cried more until my eyes went dry. Edward held me.

"I can't cum. I mean, I just have no desire to," I admitted shyly. Finally, I pulled away and wiped my face. Edward pushed stray hairs behind my ears and kissed my head. My tremors left me, gone with the wind for now.

"Everything you do to me feels good, so that's enough for now. I want you, I do. Come up here," I asked. Edward moved to sit next to me on the couch. I leaned over the edge and turned the lamp off. Only the starlit sky provided our eyes with light. His skin shined. I placed a kiss on his chest, and bent down. I took his penis in my hands and began to stroke it carefully. It was the softest part of him. He stopped me.

"Bella," He said.

"It's okay," I assured him. "I want this. I want to do this, please." Maybe I would come off as a slut, but I was too far gone to care.

"I feel bad."

"Trust me, I'll get mine just by doing it." I began to stoke him again. He allowed it and his breathing sped up.

"Tell me what you want," I whispered. I knew I would have to break myself into everything again, and I wanted to. It had to be at my pace and I was thankful to Edward for going with whatever I needed. I took him in my mouth and sucked hard. Edward gasped then moaned.

"Yea, that," He breathed roughly. He placed his hand on my head, but removed it quickly and chose my shoulder instead. His other hand stroked my cheek as I continued to suck. I licked the head. His breathing became ragged. I sucked and licked his length over and over. His grip on my shoulder tightened immensely.

"Bella," He moaned.

"Cum, Edward." I ordered between licks. I sucked one last time and he came in my mouth. He grunted and stopped breathing as I swallowed the thick hot liquid. I raised my head and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"You're the perfect one," I told him. He chuckled and pulled me to his chest. It knocked the wind out of me. He reached for what I assumed was his shirt from the floor and dried his tired dick. He tossed it back to the ground and kissed my head. I laid on his shoulder in complete contentment and let myself fall asleep to the sound of his breathing and the feel of his hands on my body. We allowed John Legend to quietly speak for us.

_Love hurts sometimes when you do it right_

_Don't be afraid of a little bit of pain_

_Pleasure is on the other side._

_Let down your guard just a little_

_I'll keep you safe in these arms of mine_

_Hold on to me pretty baby_

_You will see I can be all you need if you stay_

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**Hmm****_..._**** Getting strange and intense, yes? ;) thoughts anyone?**

** Any ideas into Bella's past... Or Edward's?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

**Equis**

Time began to move quickly around us and the Fourth of July was just around the corner. My routine had become an exciting one instead of boring. I owed that to Edward, I think.

Work was work, and I still enjoyed it. Jacob had been gone at a convention for a few days, so I worked with his uncle, Paul. Paul had a masters in Equis and started teaching me things that my class could not. Unfortunately for Edward, Paul brought in his son, Embry, to learn the ropes as well. He was in his second year of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Tennessee. One day, Edward brought me lunch at work and was angry to see Embry hovering over me to watch as I helped Paul in stitching a horse's leg up. It took me an hour to calm him down.

I was used to controlling men in my life, or them controlling me. In fact, when I didn't have one for a while until Edward, I didn't know how to act, how to be. It was something I had missed in a sense. Rosalie couldn't stand it. She had begun to very much dislike Edward specifically for that quality. Alice was a little more biased and was completely wrapped up in her own new relationship with Jasper. Her twenty-first birthday was tomorrow just before the holiday and we had a big surprise party planned for her.

It was Thursday after class, and I was out with Rose and Alice for a drink. We hadn't gotten together in over a week, and I had missed them terribly. With a Bloody Mary in one hand, and a cigarette in the other, I had decided to try and tell them a little about my relationship, and them me. Maybe they would understand.

"So, Jasper and I still haven't had sex," Alice said sadly.

"What's wrong with him?" Rose asked disgusted.

"I don't know! I have tried everything. I even bought lingerie!" She cowered in embarrassment.

"What if you tried not caring about it for a while. You don't need sex with him right now, do you?" I asked. Alice thought for a moment and then smiled.

"No, I actually don't think I'm ready for it either. But isn't that to be more expected by the girl? If a guy doesn't want it, it means something is terribly wrong..."

"No, it doesn't," I scoffed. "Maybe Jasper is just as insecure and worried about it, too. You guys should talk about it."

"Thanks Bella," Alice chirped, "I will." Her genuine smile had returned.

"What about you, Rose?" I asked. Rosalie put her margarita down and sighed.

"I am so sick of sex," She whined loudly. Though we were sitting outside of the restaurant, there were a couple other people out here that turned their heads. Rose didn't notice.

"It's all Emmett wants to do, and I mean, a girl gets tired, you know?! This position, that place, this time, blah, blah!"

"Do you think that's all he wants you for?" Alice asked.

"I'm worried that it is, yeah," Rose said defeated. She grabbed her drink again.

"I think we all need to do the same thing. We all have the same problem," I said. Both girls looked at me curiously.

"Communication," I informed them. Their faces took on a look of understanding.

"So you and Edward?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, how's your sex life?" Rose cut in. It was my turn to become embarrassed, and I did. My cheeks burned.

"I'm complicated," I whispered.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked. I looked over to her. I wanted to spit it all out, but it was all still locked up tight. Her green eyes were kind, and she looked really pretty in her purple summer dress.

"Oh, this goes back to the unspeakable," Rose droned. She pushed her long blonde hair back over her shoulder and lit another cigarette.

"What?" Alice asked.

"You know," Rose continued, blowing smoke out of her nose, "The secrets of Bella and Edward. The secrets that she can't even tell her best friends." Alice looked to me expectantly.

"I just can't," I told them.

"Have you told Edward?" Ali asked softly.

"No," I answered immediately. "Not entirely. Not yet." Both of my friends sighed. "And I want to tell you guys, too, but I think when I finally can, Edward needs to be the first to hear it." The girls nodded in understanding.

"We are a mess," Rosalie confirmed. I nodded my agreement.

"Is Edward still mad about Embry?" Alice asked. I sighed.

"No, thank God."

"Good, because its not like he really has to worry. Embry is gay."

"Gay? No he isn't," I defended. Alice laughed.

"Oh, hell yeah he is. Think about it, Bella." I did, and hard. The guy was twenty-two, had two diamond studs in each ear, tight pants and he wore a pink shirt one day. My mind clicked into understanding.

"Oh," I said realizing. That made me feel better entirely. Just then, all three of our cell phones went off. Rosalie's a call, Alice's a text, and mine a call from Edward.

"Hey!" I answered excitedly.

"Hi, beautiful" Edward cooed. "Having fun with the girls?"

"I am, yes."

"Good. I miss you. Are you still coming over tonight?"

"Of course and I miss you, too. I just have to call my mom, but I can do that on the way. Are you keeping your promise?"

"I'm brushing Willow as we speak, preparing her for you. Did you wear what I told you?" I looked down to my skinny jeans and converse sneakers. It made me hot in this weather, but Edward assured me that I had to wear them. My broad smile hurt my cheeks. Edward promised that today he would take me horseback riding.

"Yes."

"Good girl," He said with a laugh. "No flip flops or shorts."

"I'll be there soon," I told him giddily.

"Okay. I have presents."

"Presents?"

"You'll see. Hurry up."

"I will." We ended the call and I stood up, ready to go. Alice paid the waiter for all of us. We took turns with the check each time we went out. Rose stood by the exit, still in the phone.

"What are you so excited for?" Alice asked.

"Horseback riding!" I told her. She laughed.

"Have fun, babe. My car is back there. I love you."

"I love you, too." We hugged and she left for her car. Rosalie parked next to me, so I followed her out quietly as she was still on the phone.

"Yeah, see you soon," She said as she ended the call. She was smiling.

"Well?"

"He's taking me out to a movie, tonight," She replied happily.

"Good, and I'll be horseback riding!"

"Jesus, don't fucking break anything, okay? You're prone to it."

"Yeah, yeah." We stopped in front of our cars.

"So, tomorrow," Rose began.

"Yeah, I got all the stuff, and it'll be at Jasper's new place. It's kind of a drive, but secluded in the woods. Did you invite everyone?"

"Everyone. Are you getting the cake?" She asked.

"Tomorrow at two," I confirmed.

"Perfect. Oh, she's going to be so surprised!"

"I know, I can't wait. Hey Rose," I hesitated. She looked at me with her big blue eyes.

"We haven't had sex, yet," I told her. "We're working through it slowly... But mostly I just take care of him." She gave me an incredulous look.

"I want it that way," I assured her quickly. "He doesn't like it that way, but it's just what I need right now." Rose smiled and put her hand on my shoulder.

"You guys will get through it," She assured. I smiled.

"See you tomorrow, and dress sexy," She ordered.

"Sexy?" I asked.

"Jasper is renting a DJ and floor to be put out in the yard against all the trees. He wants to relive the rave," She said laughing.

"Perfect. Love you," I told her truthfully.

"Love you."

My insides churned with fear as I stepped up to the large beast. She was slow, kind, and soulful. Her long white hair cascaded over her broad shoulders. She had freckles all over her body, and her hair was as soft as silk. She was an Appaloosa, of course. I breathed in her scent. Edward came up behind me and took my hand. He placed it through the reins, and up to the saddle horn. I took a deep breath and lifted my right leg into the stirrup. Edward's free hand drifted down my back and stopped just under my ass. He left it there.

"1," His voice was velvet, "2." My insides melted away. "3." Just as I pulled, Edward pushed and I found myself planted on top of Willow. I opened my eyes and smiled. Edward looked at me proudly. He went over and easily mounted his black horse called Night. Seeing him take control over something much larger and stronger than him was a turn on. He swat the horse with his riding crop. I shivered.

"Don't use that," I told him sternly. My insides twisted in pleasurable pain. Edward watched me with careful eyes. He looked to the leather crop, and tossed it over his shoulder. I let out my tight breath and smiled, my strange feeling gone. He smiled back, but it was guarded. His horse walked over to me and stopped at Edward's command. He took my reins and led us out of the barn. He clicked his cheek to make a sound that told the horses to go forward.

"Where is your dad?" I asked easily.

"Working late," He confirmed. I let my eyes drift up to the main house. It was quiet. I couldn't help my wondering of Dr. Cullen. He gave life to Edward, and I felt the need to thank him.

"I hope to meet him one day," I said softy, still watching the house.

"You will," Edward replied.

The property that Edward's family owned was perfect for riding. Hidden trails could be found all over the land. We stopped in front of one and Edward looked to me.

"Do you remember everything I taught you?" He asked. I nodded. We had practiced everything we could before I actually got on the horse herself. I felt confident.

"Remember, it's like a dance. You don't control her, and she doesn't control you. Move together." I nodded again and took hold of my reins. Willow moved forward when I clicked my mouth. Edward followed dutifully, allowing us to lead the way through the trees and down the old dirt path. It was such an exhilarating feeling of freedom. I reveled in it and began to go faster. Willow trotted over small sticks and rocks moving perfectly with the wind. I laughed as I moved up and down in sync with the animal. I looked back to Edward with my hair whipping my face and saw him smiling at me.

We rode until my ass was raw and Edward didn't complain about it once. It must have been incredibly boring for him to follow trail after trail. We made it to the barn as night fell around us and put the horses up securely. I loved to feed them.

"You were amazing," Edward said. He stood by the watering hose filling up a bucket. I smiled proudly to myself.

"She's an amazing horse," I said in truth.

"And she likes you," He added. I smiled.

"How old is she?"

"She's only four."

"So young."

"Yes, and she hasn't been ridden in a long time."

"Why?" I asked, stroking Willows long face as she ate. Edward was quiet like he had said something he regretted. He turned off the water and came over to us, pouring it through the bars into Willows trough.

"She was my mother's horse," He whispered. Sadness hit me hard. I also felt wrong for doing such a thing. It felt too sacred to touch.

"Oh," Was all I could muster.

"It was good for Willow," He announced. "Right girl?" He patted the horse's neck and she blew air through her nose appreciatively.

"Well I am honored," I told them both. Willow raised her head from her food and nudged my shoulder, leaving a trail of snot and half chewed grain on my bare skin. I cringed. Edward laughed. He wiped the gift from Willow off my shoulder and kissed it.

"You said you had presents," I reminded him. Edward's head shot up excitedly. He looked like a little boy on Christmas morning.

"I forgot!" He said. He took my hand and we went up to his room. It was dim like always, only illuminated by the couch lamp. The entire space smelled of him. I breathed in heavily. Edward emerged from his room with a big smile on his face. He held a large box out in front of him. I raised my eyebrow in complete curiosity.

"Open it," He urged. I took the box slowly and was amazed by the weight in it. I took a seat on the couch with Edward's eyes on me. I removed the lid and put my hands through the white tissue paper. I pulled out a boot. It was long and tan with buttons up the outer side of it. I looked closer to find the face of horses burned into the buttons. I smiled widely.

"Look at the ankle," Edward told me. I lifted the boot up and around the back of the shoe above the sole was my name engraved into the thick brown leather. I threw the shoe back in the box and jumped up. Edward caught me in his arms and held tightly.

"I love them!" I cried. "It is the best gift I have ever received. Thank you."

"I thought you could use them. And you can keep them here, next to mine if you wish." I hugged him again then kissed his mouth with all the thanks in my body.

"The other gift," He began slowly in my ear, "Is Willow." My eyes widened and I stepped back away from him.

"Edward, I couldn't," I whispered. He shook his head.

"No, really. She's yours if you want her."

"But, I have no where to put her," I replied sadly.

"She can stay here, of course."

"But, she was-" He held up his hand.

"Please," He said. "I want to do this." I stepped back to him and curled my arms around his waste.

"She needs someone like you, but on one condition," He began. I nodded. "You have to promise to come ride her."

"All the time," I confirmed. "You'll get sick of me." He chuckled and I knew that this was good for him, regardless of how hard it was as well.

"Never," He whispered.

"I adore you, you know that?" I announced truthfully. Our lips were inches apart. He smiled his brilliant smile then kissed me again. His beard stubble tickled my face. I pulled away laughing. My hands drifted down his back and went under his jeans. I squeezed his ass appreciatively. His hands floated down my back and one spun around to cup my crotch. I gasped and put my head on him. He removed his hand quickly.

"Does it hurt?" He whispered, placing that hand back on the small of my back. I shook my head against his shoulder.

"Not physically." Very slowly his hand moved around from my back to my stomach. He waited there. I made no move. Still as slow, he moved his hand lower. My breathing stopped. He cupped me softly and held his hand there. It didn't hurt. I was clothed. I should be fine. He held me for a long time and I had begun to breath again. Carefully, his thumb began to move over the hem of my jeans. I made no move. He rubbed harder, and now I could feel it. My eyes closed. Tremors returned to me, and Edward stopped his thumb. Before he could remove his hand, I stopped him.

"It's okay," I breathed as I shook. Edward hesitated, but began to move his thumb again. Second by second, my shaking slowed until we were harshly interrupted by my cell phone ringing. We both jumped in surprise. I pulled away and took my phone out from my back pocket. I put a finger to my mouth, telling Edward to be quiet. He nodded and I answered.

"Hey, mom," I said sounding breathless.

"Hey baby. Are you ever coming home? You know I leave for the weekend tomorrow for work," She droned. I looked to the clock on Edward's microwave. It was already nine.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," I told her. "I'll leave Rosalie's in a few minutes."

"Okay, good. And I get to pick the movie tonight!" I laughed. I had no protest to Phantom of the Opera.

"Deal." We hung up and I sighed.

"You have to go," He said sadly.

"Yeah," I whispered. "But you'll come to Alice's party? It's important." I said.

"It'll be later, but yes. I have to work until 9:30." I nodded. He leaned down and kissed my lips softly.

"I'll text you when I get home," I told him sweetly. He kissed me again and then released me. I walked to the door slowly. His kiss left me in a fog.

"Put my boots by yours," I told him. He gave his crooked boyish grin and nodded.

Bright light burned through my eyes trying to reach and claim my soul. I fought back by trying to close them tight.

"Open eyes," He ordered. I was happy to comply to him. A large mirror showed me myself and what he was doing to me. It was thrilling. My climax was rising.

"No coming," He said sternly. My legs fell. He pried them back open. I ached for more, my body shaking. Leather slapped my thigh. I yelled. Another slap. I asked for more.

"Now, you will come." I cried against it. Not that. It was the only pain I knew. Not yet.

"Now!" He yelled. I smiled and did as I was told falling amongst the stars.

"I hate you," I said through a thick voice.

"And I you. But I am your heroine."

"Yes," I breathed. His hair shined like gold in the bright light.

"I love you," I whispered. Leather slapped my clitoris.

"More," He said. I winced.

"I can't."

"You will. You want it."

"I do." And that wasn't a lie.

My dream shook me awake. I was sweating. I tried to wake up fully. It was over, wasn't it? I was asleep. I could smell my bedroom. I heard a horse far off in the distance calling to me. She was made of diamonds and lit the path for me to follow. I reached for her as she did me. I found nothing but the wind.

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**Any ideas...?! :) North Carolina is beautiful. Cold, but nice!**

**Cant wait to hear your thoughts!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Monday's :)**

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**Chapter 9:**

**His Story**

The party at Jasper's house was coming into full swing by ten that night. Everything worked perfectly and Alice had been thoroughly surprised. Rose and I went over early to exchange gifts and cake. Jasper's present was the sweetest. He gave her a gold necklace with a heart pendant. Soon after, people began to show up. A lot of people that brought a lot of alcohol. They were people that came for a party, not so much for Alice's birthday. She didn't seem to mind in the slightest, though. A lot of them were Jasper's friends from soccer and school.

"Thanks again for the Cyndi Lauper album, Bella," Alice said from beside me. I smiled.

"I'm glad I found it," I told her. She looked cute in a black dress that went above her knees and showed a decent amount of cleavage. Her black flats kept her at her short length.

"Where's Edward?" She asked.

"Late," I huffed. "He hasn't text me in a while, either." I was on my fourth strawberry daiquiri and kept going. Edward's absence had me worried.

"Shocker," She teased. I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry, babe. He'll be here."

"He had better be. I told him that it was important." Alice smile assuringly to me. I checked my phone when she went back to Jasper. Still no word. I sighed.

"Bella!" I looked up to see Embry coming towards me with a large smile. He nudged my shoulder.

"Hey, I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah, Jasper and I go way back," He informed.

"Oh."

"You wanna dance?" I looked to his brown eyes and smiled, knowing that I shouldn't accept.

"I can't dance," I half lied.

"Oh, please. All girls can dance!" He took my hand and began to pull me onto the dance floor. Jasper had paid a pretty penny for this DJ and dance floor. It was sort of like a very large gazebo. Tall pillars met in the middle were a disco ball was turning. It was a lot like The X. It only made me remember Edward, though. I sighed again but retaliated allowing Embry to pull me into the crowd of dancing bodies. He was wearing girls jeans and a purple and black checkered t-shirt. Dancing with a gay guy didn't count. I laughed and began to move with the music. Embry had excellent dance moves. He spun around me and pulled on my hands. I felt like a hip hop dancer next to him. When he crushed me to his chest, I got a whiff of his strong cologne mixed with Jack Daniels. I pushed away slightly.

"You know," He began while still maintaining his dance pace, "You're pretty hot." My eyes shot open wide.

"What?" I asked in shock.

"I'd like to take you out," He furthered.

"Oh, but I thought you were..." I cut off embarrassed.

"Gay?" My cheeks heated but I nodded.

"No, I'm bisexual!" He announced loud and proud. His alcohol intake was making him act different. He tightened his grip on my arm and I hadn't even noticed that we had moved off of the dance floor and onto the grass. We had left the light enough to keep our faces hidden by the night. The music still played just as loud, though. I shook my head confused. His grip was beginning to hurt my arm. I tried to pull away, but Embry didn't notice and held tighter. He spun me around and coming back, he smashed his mouth to mine. I tried to rip away, but he bit down on my lip.

"Ow!" I yelled. Embry released me immediately. I stepped back and put my hand to my lip. It was throbbing. My tongue could taste blood and whiskey.

"Whoa, I'm so sorry, Bella," He said worriedly. He put his palms up in defense and backed away.

"I've had a lot to drink. I'm so sorry," He said again. I licked the blood off of my lip.

"Embry, you're a cool guy, but I'm actually with that guy you saw me with the other day at work." Recognition came over him.

"Oh, wow. Then I'm sorry about that day at the office, too," Embry said. "Edward got pretty pissed."

"Yeah, but it's fine. Don't worry," I told him.

"I didn't know he was seeing anyone."

"How do you know him?" I asked curiously. Embry folded his arms and spoke softer.

"His girlfriend that died with his mother was Jacob's little sister." My heart stopped beating and I coughed on the air I sucked in through my gasp. I clutched my chest in pain.

"Dead girlfriend? Jacob's sister?" I whispered. Embry came closer and put a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

"Back the fuck up, Embry!" My head shot to the left to see Edward breaking through the crowd of drunk dancers. He came up to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from Embry. He stood in front of me now and put his finger on my lip, exposing the fresh cut that was still bleeding. His eyes were like piercing black diamonds. I shuddered slightly. He spun back around to Embry and stalked towards him.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean-" Embry slurred his words and before he could finish, Edward shoved him hard. Embry staggered backwards but didn't fall.

"Edward, don't!" I yelled. "It's fine. He realized what he was doing and stopped," I defended.

"Not before he made you bleed," Edward seethed, not turning to look at me. He shoved Embry to the ground.

"Get up!" Edward told him. I ran over and took hold of Edward's arms. He shook me off immediately.

"Embry, just go," I told him. Embry crawled backwards on his hands away from Edward.

"I'm sorry," He said again as he staggered up and ran back towards the house. I stood behind Edward fuming. I turned and took off heading towards the woods. Right on the tree line there was a bench. I sat down and crossed my arms. Edward walked over to me. I looked back to the dancing crowd to see that no one had taken notice to our commotion.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Edward shouted. He stood in front of me, hovering. I licked more blood off of my lip.

"I was just dancing, Edward. I didn't know he was going to try and make a move on me," I defended angrily. "How long were you watching me?"

"Long enough." Edward ran a hand through his hair exasperated.

"I thought he was gay!" I yelled. "When he told me he was bi, I stopped dancing."

"Don't be stupid, Bella!" I cowered at his insult.

"I'm not stupid," I seethed, looking to the ground.

"Oh, so you wouldn't care if I went and danced with a bisexual girl?" I wanted to tell him no, that I wouldn't, but I couldn't lie to him.

"Why are you late?" I demanded, switching the accuser to the accused.

"Because I had a meeting with my lawyer."

"At this time of night?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," He replied.

"Was Jessica there?"

"What?" He scoffed.

"Well I know that her daddy is your family lawyer, so it is a legitimate question to fucking ask, Edward." My voice dripped with venom.

"You should know me better than that," He replied quietly.

"Should I?" I yelled. I stood up furious to face him. "I don't know shit about you, Edward! Only what you tell me which has been next to nothing. I don't know you at all." Edward's black diamond eyes had left him. His face softened for a moment.

"Oh, and I know so much about you, do I?" He shot back. "Like why the fuck I can't I touch you? Why sometimes you wake up screaming in the middle of the night, or better yet," He continued acidly, "Why you want my dick so bad but only on your terms. You use it, not care for it." I stood frozen before him in horror.

"That's what you think?" I whispered.

"That's what I know, Bella." I nodded and sucked my bottom lip in. Blood filled my mouth. I swallowed it.

"So, because of your dead mother and girlfriend, you can treat me as if I am your property?" Edward's face froze.

"Yeah, that's why you didn't want me around Embry, huh? He knows Jacob. You know Jacob, and you have known that he's my boss. Why didn't you tell me yourself like a fucking man?" I fumed. Edward stayed frozen. His eyes iced over and he stared out away from me. I sat back down on the bench exhausted and hurt. Edward still stood but finally moved to run a hand through his hair again. He wouldn't turn to look at me.

"We dated for a year," He began quietly, "I knew her all my life. Her brother Jacob was like a brother to me, and my dad's best friend, regardless of the age difference." He chuckled distantly. I stayed seated and waited for him to continue.

"Her name was Tanya. One night she was over at my house and we were arguing. I had broken up with her a week before because she cheated on me with some prick from her school. I had already graduated by then. She begged me to take her back. God, she begged and begged." Edward fell to the ground in front of me and crossed his legs. He pulled out a cigarette. I had never seen him smoke before. I stayed silent. He lit the tobacco stick and inhaled deeply.

"I told her she was a slut... Just like my fucking mother." My eyes bolted out of my head in confusion and disbelief. Looking to the back of the man I had grown so attached to, my heart began to break open in sorrow.

"We knew she was cheating on my dad. Tanya knew the whole time that it was with her father. She didn't tell me until that night. I was so disgusted. I stormed downstairs. My father, Carlisle was working late that night. My mother didn't even deny the affair. I screamed at her for betraying me and my dad. She cried but never apologized. I told them both to get out, to leave and never come back. She took Tanya with her. A drunk driver in a big truck t-boned my mother's car and killed them both instantly. The driver died, too. That was two years. I loved Tanya, I did, but I hated her more. I loved my mother, too. She taught me all there was to know about horses, about life. Carlisle only taught me how to be smart and quick. He blamed me when she died. I never told him about Jacob and the affair. We haven't spoken much since." Tears were streaming down my cheeks. Edward took more of his cigarette and sighed. I could hear him sniff, and I knew that he had been crying, too.

"I hadn't ridden a horse since she died, until I took you the other day."

I instantly went to my knees and draped myself over his back. We sat there for a long time before my knees started to ache. I sat back and Edward turned to face me. He pulled me onto his lap. I grabbed his cigarette and took a long pull.

"It's not your fault," I told him.

"Maybe not, but it still happened. I'm sorry I freaked out on you. It's the same reason that I was mean to you at school. I thought I could push you away from caring for me, and me you. I'm so afraid of something bad happening... Something that could take you away from me that I feel this need to control." I buried my face in his neck and breathed in.

"I won't ever leave you," I began. My voice grew hoarse. "It is you who will leave me." Edward leaned back to look at me incredulously with hurt eyes. He tipped my chin up, fixing my eyes to focus on his.

"Don't ever say that," He said strongly. I looked down again.

"Tell me. Please tell me what happened to you, Bella." I shook my head, tears falling.

"I don't know how," I whispered. Edward looked around us. The party was still going on loudly.

"Let's get out of here." I nodded my head and wiped my eyes as we stood up. Edward took my hand and led me around the house to his car. We took off down the road towards his house.

Upon arriving in front of his barn, we saw a truck parked in front of it. Edward turned his head lights off and stopped the car.

"That's my father's truck. What is he doing parked here?" A light turned on in the barn. Edward put his car in reverse and slowly turned us around.

"We can go to my house," I told him.

"We can?"

"My mother is gone on that business trip until tomorrow evening." Edward nodded and headed in the direction of my house. I never wanted to get there. I didn't want to tell him of my horrid past. Tremors threatened my body. I knew that if I wanted to keep Edward, I would have to tell him. I said a prayer the entire way to my house. A prayer to God that Edward wouldn't leave me.

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**All right... We heard Edward's past. What do you think?! What could be Bella's demons? Let me know, guys!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Happy reading lovelies ;)**

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**Chapter 10:**

**Demons and Angles**

**Milestones and Boulders**

My house was dark and hot inside. I turned the air conditioner down to sixty eight and switched on a light. Edward stood by the door waiting patiently. My hands shook in everything they did. I grabbed two wine coolers from the fridge, and took Edward up to my room.

"Nice bed," He said smiling. I was glad to see that smile. It eased me slightly.

"Thanks," I replied. "I like it, too."

Edward took a seat at the end of my queen sized bed as I switched on my bedside lamp. My down comforter pressed under his weight. I took my vans off and tossed them by the door. Edward opened our wine coolers and handed one to me. I chugged half the bottle and set it down. My hands still shook as I removed my silver sequined dress and climbed into my bed. Edward scooted back to the headboard to be next to me after kicking off his shoes. I could smell the remnants of horses on his skin. I took my bra off under my Green Day t-shirt and dropped it to the floor. I felt more comfortable now in my surroundings but my hands wouldn't stop. Edward noticed and grabbed them tightly.

"Breath," He said softly. I did. I pulled my hands from his to remove his shirt. I laid my head down on his bare chest and allowed the hair to tickle me. If he was going to leave after I told him, I needed to get as much of him as I could. I wished it could last the rest of my life. I sighed and sat up.

"Two years ago," I began slowly, staring down at our hands entwined together, "I was with this guy. This man, actually. He was my dad's friend, Jack. He was forty four and I was almost nineteen. I had the biggest crush on him in high school. One night when my mom was working late, and my dad, Charlie, had a few friends over. Renee always worked late nights. All the guys got drunk and let me drink, too. I made a move on Jack." I bowed my head in regret.

"Go on," Edward urged. I looked up to his diamond eyes.

"He accepted my advances and we had sex. I don't remember much from that night, though. I was pretty drunk but I was happy that it happened. I had liked him for so long. Anyway, a couple days passed and he came over again. We waited until Charlie passed out and had sex. I felt so loved. This attractive older man wanted me, this little naive girl. The sex grew rougher each time and at first I was petrified... But somehow I grew to love it. I needed it from him. I didn't know how to be when he wasn't around. He would sneak in my house when Renee was home and brought things with him to try. Things I didn't even know existed when it came to pleasure, but he showed me. He made sure the light was on at all times.

After a while, his visits grew less and less. I worried that he was over me. I snuck out of my house one night and went to his apartment. It was my birthday and I dressed up in lingerie and everything. When he answered the door, there was a woman with him. A young woman, but older than me. He invited me in anyway. My heart was broken but I couldn't leave him. I didn't want to have sex but I did it anyway. He wanted me to, and I couldn't say no to him by that point. He was me. Every move, every breath I took was him. The woman and I did things... He watched. It was so bright in the room. My hair was pulled, my body ripped and swollen. It felt like I was on drugs and I would always go back to him. It was that night that I realized how I had become his submissive. The other woman was, too. He made me come over and over and over again. I had to watch myself in a full length mirror. It hurt so bad but I asked for more. There were whips, rope..." I cut off unable to continue. My shoulders shook from sobs. I looked before me and saw gold hair, dark eyes. I shook my head violently.

Edward finally came into my focus. He was staring at me in horror, worry, wonder and shock.

"What is wrong with me?" I cried. Edward took me in his arms and held me.

"How could I want that? I'm sick, Edward."

"Shh," He soothed. He let me cry it out until I was spent. Exhaustion consumed me. I pried myself away from Edward and went into the bathroom. I splashed cold water over my face. When I saw my reflection, I stared at her. Who was she? She wasn't the nineteen year old girl that she once was. She wore scars. She carried them like her armor. I broke my gaze and went back to my room. I didn't climb into bed. Edward stared straight ahead of him in a daze. I finished my wine cooler.

"So, what happened?" He asked quietly. I shrugged.

"Renee found out. She almost killed Jack and Charlie. My dad knew about it the whole time. Jack had told him every detail and Charlie told Renee. My dad said that it was my fault, that I wanted it. I went to therapy for a little while. My mother divorced him and we moved here."

"Oh," He whispered. "Do you miss him?"

"Who, my dad?"

"Jack, but your dad, too."

"I do miss my dad, sometimes. I used to miss Jack. I didn't know how to be me for a long time. I needed someone to tell me. I don't know how I ever let him own me so completely, though. I didn't know where I was in life until I met you, Edward." He continued his stare straight ahead.

"You're going to leave," I stated in a whisper. He snapped out of his weird state to look at me.

"Why, because you slept with an older man?"

"Because I'm disgusting, Edward. He did disgusting things to me and I allowed him to!" I started to pace to keep the tremors away.

"He took advantage of you, Bella," Edward scorned. Did he?

"I don't know how to help. I'm afraid you'll run away. I don't think I could ever hurt you for your own pleasure," He said sadly. I stopped pacing and ran over to him.

"I'm not like that, though!" I defended. "Please. I'm not. I want you. I want you to have all of me."

"I want that, too."

"You don't hate me? You don't find me repulsive?" I asked surprised. He shook his head.

"Never. Just don't run away from me anymore, Bella." I smiled and took his hand, placing it over my heart.

"I won't if you won't. I can't promise when it'll happen naturally, but I want you to have me."

"Does your lip hurt?" He asked as he ran a finger over my bottom lip. It was sore, but I had completely forgotten about it. I shook my head, so Edward forced his mouth to mine. We kissed deeply for a long time, hands everywhere, tongues fighting. I took Edward's hand and placed it over my underwear securely. He made no move to pull away. The demons within me morphed into angels and flew high above. I found my heart beating strong against him. I shoved his hand underneath the thin fabric. Edward moaned and began to move his thumb over my bud of nerves. It felt good. I almost could not believe that feeling of pleasure that I got from this small thing. I moved my hips, forcing his hand to moved with my pace. I broke our kiss breathing hard and buried my head in his neck. He hovered over me and rubbed.

"Edward," I breathed. I reached for his pants and could feel his hard on through the jean fabric. He grunted. Suddenly, car headlights shined through my window. Edward and I sprang apart breathless. We got up to look out my window. My mother's car was in the driveway. We watched as she got out with a man.

"Who the fuck is that?" I whispered. "Wait, I think I've seen him at my work before..."

"My dad." Edward spoke so quietly that I wasn't sure I had heard him. All air left my lungs in one big burst. The man below walked around to take my mother in his arms. They kissed passionately, then started for the front door. I leaped out of bed and got dressed, throwing Edward his shirt.

"Bella?" Renee called. "Are you here?"

"Uh, just a second!" I called. I tripped over my rug and burned my knee on the wood floor. Edward snapped out of his fog and helped me up. He threw his shirt on and looked for a place to hide.

"Edward?" A man called. My face went white. Edward stopped moving.

"Your car is here!" I hissed. My mother came to my door and tried to open it.

"Bella, why is the door locked?" She asked.

"Why do you think?!" I yelled. My knee bled. Edward went to the door. I shook my head, but he opened it anyway. Renee stood next to Carlisle Cullen with a confused look on her face. Edward stared at his father angrily. Carlisle was every bit as beautiful as his son. They could easily be passed as twins. Carlisle's age was the only thing that gave him away.

"What is going on?" Renee demanded. She placed her hand over her chest revealing a large rock. I gasped.

"Why don't you tell me?" I shot back. I walked up to her and took her left hand. Sitting snug on her ring finger was a large sapphire. She jerked her hand away.

"Are you two engaged?!" I cried. Renee looked to Carlisle who was still having a stare down with his son. She nudged his shoulder, breaking his eye contact. He looked to me and then back to Edward.

"What have you done?" Carlisle asked Edward.

"Nothing more than you, evidently," Edward replied. I went over to Edward and pulled on his arm. He looked down to me protectively. We went to leave, but Renee and Carlisle made no move out of the doorway.

"Let them go, Renee," Carlisle told her. Renee had tears in her eyes.

"Why?" Edward asked. "Can't bring her back to mom's bed?" Carlisle moved to slap Edward across the face.

"No!" I cried. Edward stood upright again, rubbing his now red cheek bone.

"Bella, you shouldn't be seeing anyone, right now. Not after..." Renee said sternly, but unable to finish. Anger boiled within me.

"You have no right to tell me that," I told her. I took Edward's hand and shoved past my mother and her new fiancé. We ran to Edward's car and peeled out of the driveway. I held Edward's hand tightly as we drove back to his place in silence. We had too much to think about to speak. All the events and information from the night weighed over us like a thunderstorm. Why did I feel betrayed by my mother? How could she keep someone so special to her away from me? I wanted to cry again but I had no more tears.

Edward and I didn't sleep well that night. We showered and then laid in his bed quietly. I didn't know where to go from here. I felt like I had finally found myself just as surely as I was being ripped apart. Each milestone that Edward and I passed, we were met by a boulder blocking the path. I kissed his neck and listened to his shallow breathing. I wouldn't loose him over this. I couldn't take it. I would surely die. I laid back and thought of my demons. I smiled at their departure. Edward and turned them into angels. They flew away with part of me. A part that I could do without. A void that Edward would fill.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thursday and I am finally back home from NC!**

**I claim nothing Twilight. Just this Drabble.**

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**Chapter 11:**

**Fireworks**

Edward stirred beside me. I had finally fallen asleep peacefully for a couple of hours. I turned over to look at the diamond eyes I had dreamt about. Edward smiled.

"You're prettiest after you wake up," He said. I scoffed.

"Please," I denied.

"No, really," He furthered. "All sleepy and cute looking." I smiled shyly and pushed my hair back.

"I have to go to work," He said sadly.

"No," I whined. I pulled him to me and kissed his neck. Edward shifted his weight over top of me. I could feel his morning wood against my thigh. I smiled mischievously and raised my eyebrows. Edward leaned to kissed me fully. My lip ached slightly. I dug my nails into his ass and pulled him close. Edward moved forward, rubbing my center with his cock. I moaned into his mouth. I broke our kiss and reached for his penis. He watched me carefully, then looked down to my hand as I stroked him. Precum had made its appearance at the head. I smiled and pulled him to me. Very slowly, I began to rub myself with him. Edward's eyes shot up to me in surprise. I continued to rub my clit with his hard and perfect dick. My climax was building fast. Edward breathed as ragged as I did.

"That's so hot, baby," He said. I smirked.

"Pull my hair," I ordered. Edward didn't move. "Do it," I said. He carefully took hold of my hair at the base of my neck.

"Harder," I cried. My wrist was getting tired, but I didn't stop. His dick was slick from my excitement. He pulled harder and I came after one more slap of his dick against me. I cried out in such pleasure it made my legs shake. My orgasm passed quickly. It had been so long. All the tension within me left. I felt alive. My clit throbbed in pain reminding me, but it didn't overrule my high. I was just happy that it happened at all. Edward let go of my hair and moved his hand to my breast.

"Oh, my God," I breathed happily. I still held onto his hard dick. It pulsed hot in my hand. I began to stroke it. Edward gasped and squeezed my breast. He bent his head to lick my nipple. I moaned then tugged him faster, feeling him grow even harder. I dug my nails into ass.

"Cum," I breathed. Edward sucked my nipple and moaned as hot liquid shot from his penis and onto my stomach. He twitched slightly then collapsed next to me. I chuckled. He sighed happily then rolled over to look at me.

"You have perfect hands," He breathed. "Perfect pink nipples," He said as he reached for one. His thumb circled around it sending shivers down my spine.

"You have a perfect dick," I told him. He smirked. I was thankful for the dull light that shined through his window. It wasn't too bright.

"Let's shower," He said happily. He bounced up and gathered me in his arms. I fought against him playfully as he led us to his bathroom, leaving all the things we needed to face behind us for just a little while longer.

Edward left for work in a rush after our shower. He would only be gone for the day and I wasn't working due to the holiday. We had plans to go out to the lake to watch the fireworks for the Fourth of July. Before leaving, he encouraged me to invite the girls over assuring me that Carlisle would be at work all day. I was nervous, but I had to talk to my best friends. Alice was driving my car since I had left it at Jasper's the night before, and Rose followed her.

I got to show them Edward's cute little place and we worked our way down to Willow's stall. I brushed my new horse as Rose and Alice sat on a bench in shock.

"Your mom is dating Edward's dad?!" Alice cried out again in disbelief.

"No, engaged to Edward's dad," I corrected for the third time.

"Holy shit," Rose said. "What are you guys going to do?"

"What can we do?" I asked. "Renee hasn't called me at all, so clearly she doesn't really care."

"What does Edward think?" Alice asked.

"He was pretty freaked out. I mean after the whole thing with his mom and Jacob, I don't know. We're supposed to talk about it tonight."

"Fuck, I forgot you had to work under the guy," Rose piped.

"Yeah, me too," I droned. "I'm afraid that Paul or Embry told him about me seeing Edward. What if he fires me?"

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal," Alice noted. "Are you and Edward all right?"

"More than all right," I said dreamily. I stroked Willow's back one more time and then exited the stall, closing the door. Rose wiggled her eyebrows.

"No sex, yet, though," I confirmed. Rosie's shoulders slumped.

"I had sex!" Alice clapped excitedly. Rose and I smiled. "Last night at the party."

"And, how was it?" Rose urged.

"It hurt. Bad. For both of us. It was so awkward." Alice's shoulders fell.

"That'll pass," I said laughing.

"Yeah, lots of practice," Rose furthered. Alice's smile returned.

"And I haven't had sex in two days!" Rose announced proudly.

"Wow, that has to be a record," I teased. Rose threw her lighter at me, but I caught it.

"We talked and he really does like me,"

Rose gushed.

"I'm so glad," Alice told her.

"What are your holiday plans?" I asked them.

"Family shit," Alice droned. "But Jasper is coming with me, so it's okay."

"Yeah, same here. You?" Rose added.

"I think we're going on the lake."

"Good, that'll be fun. In a boat?" Alice asked.

"No, they can walk across water," Rose teased. Alice slapped her arm.

"Ouch!" Rose winced.

"I don't know. He didn't mention a boat. Maybe tonight will be the night, though" I hedged quietly.

"Do you think you're ready?" Rose asked, still rubbing her sore arm.

"I think so..." I began. I went and took a seat between them. I spilled my past relationship story to them in one big breath. It was much easier this time. Tremors hadn't threatened me once. Alice covered her mouth with her hand and Rose stared at me with a wide smile.

"Bella, the dominatrix!" She announced. I slapped the same arm that Alice did hard. She winced again.

"Just kidding," She spat.

"It's not like that," I told them.

"Bella, have you ever thought that maybe you like that sort of thing?" Alice asked quietly. I shook my head.

"No, I don't like it. I can't. It grosses me out."

"But it turned you on, too," Rose added. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Edward won't do it. He doesn't like it, he's not like that."

"I'm not saying he is, or should be, or that you are for sure," Alice furthered, "I just think you guys should try things and see what you do like." I thought about that for a moment.

"I guess," I replied.

"Yeah, who knows," Rose said laughing, "Maybe he'll like anal beads." She sprang from her seat just before I could slap her again. We laughed, and maybe my weird friends had a point. I had no idea what I actually did like. Maybe Edward doesn't know what he likes either...

"Who's house is this?" I asked Edward. He stood beside me with a prideful smile.

"My grandpa built it for my grandma on their tenth wedding anniversary. It was their summer retreat."

"Was?"

"They died when I was seventeen. It's beautiful, right?" I looked back to the cabin. It was set amongst the trees and very small. The lake water wasn't but a few yards away from the front door.

"Very," I replied softly. Edward took my hand and pulled me inside enthusiastically. The interior colors were burgundy, navy blue, and wood all around. The furniture was old and used. It smelled of old wood, too. It had one bathroom, and one bedroom at the top of the stairs. We removed our shoes and Edward ushered me up to the bedroom that took my breath away. Coral rose petals littered the floor and candles were on every surface. It looked like there had been a bed in here before, but it had been removed. Large and very old French doors opened up to a tiny balcony where blankets laid with two pillows.

"Edward, it is amazing," I gushed, going further into the room. I watched my step, desperately not wanting to crush any rose petals with my bare feet.

"How did you know that I love coral roses best?" I asked curiously looking back to him. He shoved his hands in his pockets shyly.

"Your room was full of coral and in your graduation picture on the wall, you held coral roses," He replied sheepishly. My heart swelled with love at his observant self. He smiled at me.

"I thought we could do food, then come up here," He suggested.

We did just that. Edward cooked eggs and bacon in light of our first meal shared together. It went delicious with our wine coolers. We chatted aimlessly about our hobbies and favorite things. It felt good to get to know the little things about him. The house was old enough not to have air conditioning, so Edward had set up fans throughout the house to help keep things cool. The air was made cooler also by being so close to the lake.

A couple of hours later, we found ourselves up on the balcony. It had just gotten dark outside. I leaned down to light my cigarette on a burning candle. Edward chuckled.

"You don't smoke much," He said as I exhaled.

"It's never really stuck with me. I enjoy it occasionally with friends or when I'm really anxious. I enjoy it. You?"

"I carry them around but only smoke when I'm worried or angry," He replied. "I do smoke cigars for fun, though." I smirked and looked down at the burning Camel Light.

"I love how secluded it is here. You can't see a house for miles," I said dreamily, now looking out. The new moon reflected over the quiet lake water. Edward hummed his agreement.

"What are we going to do?" I asked quietly. "I mean, what do you think about our parents." Edward laid back on his hands and sighed. I picked up a rose petal and played with it between my fingers absently.

"I was so mad at first, but I guess I don't really care. It won't stop me from seeing you, and it's not like I see Carlisle much anyway."

"But they're getting married! That'll make us step siblings." I shivered and Edward scrunched his nose.

"Oh well," He said laughing his cute boyish laugh. "I guess I wouldn't be the first guy to think his step sister was hot." I grabbed my pillow and hit Edward in the face as he rolled with laughter.

"Seriously, Edward! It's weird. And so soon after my mother's divorce? I mean, they've been..." I shuffled my hand in the air wishing it would speak for me, "You know... They've been doing it for a while." My mind went back to Carlisle's underwear that snuck out beneath Renee's bed. Edward cringed.

"So gross," He stated. I shivered again.

"They had sex before us!" I cried in horror. Edward laughed again and rolled closer to me.

"I mean, what if they have kids?" I asked.

"Dad had a vasectomy years and years ago," He replied chuckling. My chest eased.

"Good, because that would be too fucking weird."

"Are you on birth control?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, the shot. Why?" He shook his head and smiled again.

"Just curious." I smirked and stubbed my cigarette out. I laid down next to him full of contentment.

"I guess I'll call her tomorrow," I whispered.

"Yeah, I'll talk to Carlisle."

"Edward, I talked to Alice and Rose today..." I started slowly. He hummed. "And I finally told them about... Jack." Edward stiffened beside me but it faded just as soon as it came.

"What did they think?" He asked hesitantly.

"Rose laughed... And Alice... Well, she thinks maybe I have more to work out than I thought." Edward propped his head up on his hand leaning over me. His elbow was next to my face. I kissed it chastely before looking back to his eyes. The candle light made them glow golden.

"Like what?" He asked with crossed eyebrows.

"He's the only person I've ever been with sexually, so I don't know what I do and don't like." Edward thought for a moment and sat up. Worry began to spread inside of me.

"I've only done the basic military before and it didn't happen often with Tanya. I slept with Jessica one night over a year ago at a party. I was drunk. That is the extent of my sexual escapades."

"That's why she was so obsessed with you," I said, realizing it out loud. Edward looked back to me and nodded.

"And I've only been with a masochist..."

"Yeah," He said slowly. I sat up in front of him and crossed my legs. Edward lit a small and thin cigar. It smelled like strawberries. His chin stubble had grown in more and I couldn't help my hand when it reached up to touch his cheek.

"I like this," I said, running my hand through the prickly hairs. Edward chuckled.

"It tickles." He turned away and grew quiet. "I won't be able to choke you, or shove anything foreign in you," He said. I nodded.

"I can definitely do without those two things," I confirmed.

"What does that leave?" He asked curiously. I thought hard.

"I don't know," I replied shyly.

"Did you ever do things to him?" His voice was deathly quiet like he didn't truly want to know the answer.

"No, never," I confirmed.

"Why not?"

"Because he was the Dom."

"Isn't that sort of unfair?" He retorted.

"To some, yes. But mostly, no. It's just the way of the roles." He took a long pull of his cigar and crossed his legs in front of me so that we were knee to knee. He looked me straight in the eye.

"All right, so what did he do that you liked and didn't?" I looked at him carefully.

"It's all right," He assured, "I want to know what you want." I looked down to our touching knees.

"It's embarrassing," I whispered.

"If we can't talk openly about sex, then we have issues," Edward teased. "Remember, don't run from me, Bella."

"I'm afraid, Edward. I was forced into a relationship so unknown to me, that it became all I knew. I was a submissive, it's not like I had much if a say so. Except that he acted more than a dominant. He was an abuser, of sorts. it went past consensual during the end. But sometimes I feel like I need to be told what to do, in order to feel the pleasure. If it hadn't of been for Renee flipping out, I wouldn't have been able to leave him."

"Did you want to leave?"

"Yes and no."

"Why no?"

"Because it was all I knew. I was afraid of being without it. I was... Consumed."

"And why did you want to leave him?" He asked softy. I threw my hands in the air in exasperation. Edward put his cigar out. I watched the smoke disappear in the air as I replied.

"Because it wasn't healthy. Some relationships like that are, and function just fine, but I felt trapped. I had no voice and I knew he didn't love me."

"I love you," He said strongly. My rambling had my brain in shambles. I looked to his eyes and waited to see if I had made it up. Edward smiled at me and took my shaking hand.

"Really?" I asked slowly.

"Really," He replied. He kissed my hand.

"I love you, too," I whispered truthfully. The recognition that came over me was like a tidal wave. All things around me became clear and intensely vivid. I kissed his soft mouth wantonly. Edward responded quickly and put his arms around my waste. He spun us to floor and hovered over me.

"Tell me what you like," He whispered against my lips. I shivered again when our noses touched.

"I don't like bright light. He always kept it so bright to watch. I don't like clamps, because they bruise. I don't like foreign things in me. I hate anal." I bit my lip in fear.

"Don't," He ordered. I released my lip. He smiled crookedly. "Go on." I shook with shame.

"I like whips... Being tied... Blindfolded, too. Spanked. Hair pulling."

"Do you like to cum?" He asked. I stopped breathing.

"What?" He moved his mouth to hover over mine so close that I could taste his strawberry cigar just from his breath.

"I said, do you like to cum?"

"Yes," I half lied.

"You came this morning."

"Yes, but I did it. I'm afraid of letting you. What if it hurts?" I asked sadly. I closed my eyes.

"I will never hurt you, Bella," He whispered. He kissed each of my eyelids and then my mouth, hotly. His tongue ruled my entire mouth. I pulled the hair at the base of his neck, needing him closer to me. Edward shoved my white dress up to reveal my underwear and bra. I raised up, allowing him to pull it over my head. I went for the button on his khaki shorts and pulled. Edward took over and removed them and the rest of his clothes while I removed my own. We laid my back down and went back to our kiss. Edward's erection stabbed my thigh eagerly. I shifted my hip to move him to my center. He moaned and stopped kissing me. His eyes were bright with curiosity and bliss, much like I assumed mine were. He looked at me carefully. I nodded and placed my hands over his ass. We drew in a deep breath, and I pulled him down. He entered me with friction at first. I tore and I squinted in pain.

"Bella," He said.

"I'm okay," I assured him. "Just go slow at first." He nodded in my shoulder.

"You're so tight," He grunted. I smiled as he moved in an out, slowly. It felt better each time until finally, I couldn't get enough. He filled me full, possessed my soul and I needed it rougher. Edward responded to my unspoken request and his thrusts grew harder. I dug my nails into his skin and moaned. He took my hair in one hand and I raised my legs, shoving him deeper within me. His rubbing brought me closer and closer to my release. With his free hand he slapped my exposed ass. I cried out. Sweat poured off of us from the humid heat.

"More," I asked breathless. He slapped and pulled and thrusted in sync. I tightened my muscles inside, making me tighter. Edward gasped. I tried fighting against my orgasm. Fear of pain shook me until it disappeared with another slap on my raw ass. Our bodies were slick and slippery against one another.

"I'm gonna come," Edward said hoarsely, I instantly pulled his head back to look at me.

"Tell me," I asked. Edward smiled.

"Come," He ordered. I did, and he did with me loudly. It was the longest orgasm I had ever experienced. We rode out into the sky in ecstasy tangled together until Edward collapsed on top of me. My smile was so broad that it hurt my face. Edward turned to look at me.

"You're crying," He said worried. He was instantly hovering over me again. I laughed.

"It felt so good," I told him. "I've never made love before." He smiled softly and wiped a tear from my eye. Before he could respond, fireworks shot high into the black sky and exploded. They illuminated everything below them. Edward pulled us up to see. Blue, red, green, purple, and orange colors sparkled above us. Edward pulled me to his chest and I wrapped my arms around him. We laid back down as we watched the sky perform before us.

"I love you, Edward," I told him strongly.

"And I love you, Bella."

I believed him. I knew it was the truth. I was figuring out who I was because of him. He made me see the fireworks within myself as a person to be loved.

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**The Letters is still receiving reviews. I am so thankful!**

**Any thoughts in this chapter? Sex! Finally, right?! ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy Friday, readers! :)**

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**Chapter 12:**

**Brown Leather**

By the time Monday had arrived, I was extremely nervous going into work. I sat in my car for fifteen minutes just to prepare myself for seeing Jacob. Would he see it on my face that I knew? Would he know that I am with Edward? I stopped questioning and went inside the office. Cats and dogs sounded from the waiting room as I stowed my belongings in my cubby.

"Bella, good to see you!" Jacob boomed coming in behind me. I jumped in surprise.

"Dr. Black, hi," I said, turning to him. He frowned at me.

"Jacob," I corrected. He smiled.

"Did you have a good holiday?" He asked.

"Yes, the fireworks were great."

"The lake fireworks?" He asked. I nodded.

"Oh, I was there, too. What part of the beach were you on?" He was looking down to his paperwork and didn't notice my stagger.

"Uh, the opposite side. I was with friends. It was really low key." Jacob nodded and signed off on something.

"Good, good," He said. "Did you enjoy Embry and Paul?"

"Very much," I said quickly. "I learned a lot from Paul."

"Fabulous. And good for our first patient," He chuckled.

"I've got a horse out back. Broken ankle."

"I'll be right there," I said excitedly. Jacob winked and then left the small space. I sighed in relief. My work environment wouldn't be any different, and for that, I was extremely grateful. With everything else so dramatic around me, this was a safe zone. I straightened my navy scrubs out, tightened my ponytail, and headed out back.

The day passed easily with nothing going wrong, or to report. I called Edward on my lunch break and gushed to him about my day. He was enthusiastic as well. We had sex threw other times since our first time on Saturday. I was really becoming comfortable around him, and he me. It was a milestone passed, with no boulder in the way. I assured him that all went well with Jacob, too. Edward was glad and encouraged me to call Renee. I promised that I would today, I just didn't say when.

I sat in my car in my mother's driveway after leaving work. Edward was meeting at his place in just over an hour. Renee was home, and probably in the shower getting ready for her night at work. I bit my lip and went inside.

It was quiet, but well lit. I heard shuffled feet upstairs and worked my way to her room slowly.

"Mom?" I called. I heard something drop in the bathroom.

"Bella?" She called back. I came around the corner to her room. She stood wrapped in a towel after her shower, and was picking up the q-tip container from the floor. She looked up to see me and smiled. I walked towards her and threw my arms around her. She hugged me tightly as we cried together.

"I'm so sorry," She gushed.

"Me too," I told her through my thick throat.

"No more secrets," She stated.

"Agreed," I said with a chuckle. We pulled apart and wiped our faces. Her hair dripped wet and she tightened her towel as I went and sat on the end of her bed. I sighed lightly. Renee blew her nose and came to sit next to me.

"I was worried to tell you," She began softly, "It was so soon after the divorce that I felt ashamed. And the longer I kept it from you, the more serious he and I became, so the harder it got for me to tell you." I nodded.

"Bella," She said turning to me. She took my hands and held them to his chest. I stared at her new ring.

"I love him. I've always love him." I raised my eyebrows in misunderstanding. Her shoulders fell slightly.

"I have known Carlisle since I was fifteen."

"What?" I said in surprise. She nodded and held my hands tighter.

"Remember, I came here every summer until I was eighteen." I nodded again and settled back to listen intently. I crossed my legs but didn't let go of her hands. She scooted back and took a deep breath.

"I met Carlisle at a rod run. His family was very wealthy and didn't approve of him seeing me, a tourist, a Yankee." I tried to think of a young Renee and Carlisle. Rod runs happened a few times a year when people around the country gathered here to show off their ancient and rare cars. Some of them as old as the 40's.

"I was from Ohio, so back then, people here hated the people from the north. Anyway, Carlisle and I continued to see each other in secret. Every year I would wait to see him again every summer. His parents found out again when we were eighteen and his father threatened to not pay for Carlisle's medical school. That was also the summer that I met your father." She sighed as she remembered.

"Carlisle's dad made it impossible for me to see him, and I didn't for two out of the three months that I was visiting. Charlie was so different from Carlisle. He was lively, a rebel, always getting into trouble. He was from the north like me, so we could relate. I fell for him easily, but I couldn't shake my feelings for Carlisle until I saw him one day at a Fourth of July party on the lake." Renee's face grew stricken with hurt. It was the first time that I saw her true age of forty-three. She had smile lines so deep. I felt sad just seeing her sad.

"Carlisle was there with another woman. She came from wealth like him, and was very beautiful. He looked to me through the crowd as he held onto her hand and smiled sadly at me. It was a knowing smile for the both of us. I went and found Charlie immediately. And I suppose the rest is history."

"Did you expect to see Carlisle when we moved back?" I asked curiously.

"No, definitely not. I figured he married her and moved on to a better hospital somewhere. When I saw that he was head of the ER here, I froze. I fell in love with him all over again, and him me. It all happened so fast." She bowed her head. "I can see why you chose Edward, too, just like I chose Carlisle but everything happened for a reason. Had I not gone with Charlie, you wouldn't be here. Edward wouldn't be here." I took in her words carefully. It all began to fit together perfectly. I wanted my mother to have her own life. She deserved happiness.

"I'm sorry I freaked out," I told her.

"So am I. Bella, I am happy that you have found someone, I just hope it is healthy." She shivered slightly but I ignored it.

"I love him, mom. And he loves me, too."

"I'm so glad." I smiled and hugged her again.

"I'm happy for you," I told her truthfully.

"Thanks, baby." We pulled apart and smiled again.

"I'm glad you came over. I should have called, but I wanted to give you space," She said.

"When's the wedding?" I asked happily.

"Soon, actually. The end of this month."

"Wow, that's great. Where?"

"I think it will be at Carlisle's house." She hesitated before speaking again.

"I want you to be my maid of honor." My eyes widened and tears slowly began to form again.

"Really?" I asked hoarsely.

"You're my best friend, my daughter. You mean everything to me, Bella," She said softly. I nodded and hugged her again. I left her with plans to meet for dress shopping the following week. I felt good, and I couldn't wait to tell Edward.

Pulling up to Edward's, I saw that the large barn doors had been opened. It was a beautiful sunny day, and the humidity was low, making the outside world bearable. I jumped out of my car in my favorite shorts and grey tank top.

"Edward?" I called, coming in through the breezeway.

"I'm back with Night, baby!" He replied. I smiled and ran to the stall at the back of the barn, stopping only once to peak in on Willow. Edward was inside putting a horse shoe on Night's front leg. I stopped to watch in amazement. It was such an intricate thing to do. I was also stumped trying to take in Edward's appearance. With his hair wild, he was shirtless, and his skin dirty from working outside. His old fades jeans hung real low and he wore his old riding boots. I melted when he looked up to me. His beard stubble was getting thicker, and I like it that, too.

"Hey," He breathed, setting the horse's leg back down.

"Hi," I said happily.

"How'd it go with your mom?" He asked, coming up to me. We exited the stall and I followed him to the tackle room. Edward hung an old worn horse shoe up on the wall with his hammer.

"Great. I have so much to tell you," I gushed. He turned to me with his crooked grin.

"I already know," He said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I went by Carlisle's work. He told me about their past."

"And what do you think?" I furthered.

"It's sweet, and I'm glad he is happy." He shrugged. I sighed easily and went up to him.

"Good, me too."

"He asked me to be his best man," Edward said cringing.

"My mom asked me to be her maid of honor..." I said.

"Weird. It means I have to shave and wear a suit!" He whined. I laughed and wrapped my arms around him.

"No, not the beard!" I fake cried. Edward laughed and held me tight around the waste. He buried his head in my air. I stood on my tip toes and kissed his broad shoulder. His skin had a layer of sweat across it. I breathed in, smelling horses and musk. Edward slapped my butt and I jumped excitedly.

"Come shower?" I asked.

"Hmm, I think we can do that," He said seductive. He pulled away from me and grabbed a riding crop off of a hook on the nearby wall. My insides ignited. He swat his hand playfully and looked to me with raised eyebrows.

"You look so hot," I told him shyly. He stood before me like a God. His skin shining in sweat, his chest hair dark, a whip in his hand. I melted and didn't feel ashamed. He stepped back a little ways.

"Remove your shirt, ma'am," He said playfully in his sexy southern accent. He continued to swat his hand with the crop. I shook my head.

"I don't have a bra on, babe. Someone could see!" Edward smirked.

"Turn around," He ordered. I eyed him curiously but obeyed and turned. Edward hit my covered ass with the crop. I yelped and grabbed my butt.

"Hmm, this could be fun," He teased. I spun around and slapped his chest. He laughed and moved around to swat me again. It stung this time, but it excited me.

"Now, remove your shirt," He said again. I looked around the small tackle room, then leaned out the door. The barn was silent but breezy with horses feeding. The sun shined through the breezeway beautifully. I leaned back in the room and looked into his diamond eyes. He was playful, but serious, too. I raised my arms and lifted my shirt off, dropping it to the ground.

"Now the bottoms," He ordered. I sighed, but complied. I pushed my clothes and shoes off to the side and stood before him naked. I didn't try to cover myself, knowing he wouldn't like it. Edward smiled and began to walk around me in slow circles.

"I've read up on this," He purred.

"Oh, have you?" I retorted with a laugh. "What, did you google it?"

"Wikipedia, actually," He corrected. I laughed again until I felt his hot breath on my shoulder. He had stopped circling and stood behind me.

"I was fascinated to see the many different ways one can use this stick of leather," He breathed. I shivered. He pulled my hair back and moved his mouth to my ear.

"Now, tell me, Bella," He whispered. Goosebumps rose all over my exposed skin. "How do you like it?" He asked. I couldn't speak. I was too nervous and excited. This new Edward was thrilling me to the bone. He tapped my bare ass with the crop.

"Bend," He ordered. I did immediately, placing my hands on the small bench before us. It was as high up as a kitchen counter and littered with different tools for horse keeping. Edward stepped back and hit me with the crop lightly. I tensed in excitement.

"More?" He asked. I nodded.

"Answer," He said.

"Yes," I worded breathless. Edward hit me again, harder. Then again, even harder. I gripped the bench tightly, my knuckles white. I noticed Edward's breathing had become harsh. It excited me further. My ass stung, but it didn't hurt me.

"Now what?" He asked. My long hair cascaded over my shoulders creating a dark curtain. It shielded me from the light.

"How do you want me?" I asked carefully. Edward was quiet. I turned my head to peek at him through my hair. He was thinking. I turned back around.

"Like this," He said. Suddenly, I heard his pants hit the floor. He took hold of my hips with his long and strong hands. I prepared myself for his thrust, but it didn't come. Edward let go. I furrowed my eyebrows. He smacked my bare ass with his hand hard. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my parted lips. He didn't hit me again, instead shoving himself into me. I jolted forward, my hands tightening against the bench again. He filled me and it was exquisite. I pushed my hips back to meet his thrusts. His breathing was harsh.

"Can you come this way?" He asked hoarsely. I shook my head. He slowed his pace.

"Do it yourself," He said. I didn't move at first, though I desperately wanted to.

"Make yourself come while I fuck you." That urged me, and I placed my hand over my throbbing center. I could feel where he was connected to me. Edward moved faster and I began to rub. I through my head back in pleasure and moaned.

"You're so perfect," He whispered between thrusts. He took hold of my hair and pulled.

"Yes," I breathed.

"You like that?" He asked. I nodded.

"Answer."

"Yes!" I cried. "Harder." He pulled back exposing my neck. My climax was close.

"Faster," I told him. I swear I could hear Edward's smile. He pushed into me hard and fast, bringing us both closer and closer. Each thrust jolted me forward. I held tighter to the bench and rubbed myself raw until my nerves exploded. I yelled out his name and came around him. It spurred Edward on into his own orgasm. I came down from my high that made me dizzy. Edward laid his head down on my bare back and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'll never have enough," He whispered. I laughed breathless. He pulled out of me, leaving me wanting more regardless of my soreness. I didn't like the emptiness.

"There is forever," I assured. Edward raised up and pulled me to face him.

"Can I keep you forever?" He asked. I thought he was still teasing until I met his hazel eyes with mine.

"Yes," I told him. I had never felt more truthful in all my life until I answered him. He smiled and kissed me.

"I liked that," I told him.

"Me too," He said with his smirk, "But I missed this," He said kissing me again. "And these," He added, caressing my breasts. I laughed. "Oh, and seeing your face when you come." I tensed up.

"No, it's hideous," I told him disgusted. I looked down, but he pulled my chin up.

"No, it's beautiful," He whispered. I decided not to argue and kissed him instead.

"By the way," He began, "We're gonna have dinner with Carlisle tomorrow night."

"Oh?" I asked nervously. He nodded.

"He said he'd tell Renee. We'll have it up at the house."

"What if he doesn't like me?" I asked worried. Edward laughed at me. I looked at him incredulously.

"I think he's more worried about you liking him. He's the one marrying your mom." I thought about that and smiled.

"Oh. True." I laughed and my worried dissipated. "What do you want to do tonight?" I asked, running a hand through his chest hair.

"Sex. Food. Sex. Maybe some video games."

"Do you have anything Mario?" I asked. Edward smirked.

"Of course. Every Mario game ever."

"Prepare yourself for a good ass kicking then," I proposed. Edward broke into loud guffaws.

"I'd pay to see that!" He shot. I pulled on his chest hair playfully and he stopped.

"Shower?" He asked.

"Please," I told him. I turned to leave after gathering my clothes. Edward pulled his pants up and followed behind me.

"Wait," He said, turning around. He went and picked up the brown leather riding crop.

"I like this thing," He said smirking. I grabbed it from his hands.

"Do you?" I teased. I spun around and swatted his butt. Edward laughed and chased me up the stairs to his room where would spend the rest of the evening eating, playing old video games, and learning more about each others bodies.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

**Dinner**

Dinner with Carlisle was fast approaching, so my nerves were on high alert. The only encounter I had ever had with the man was as awkward as one could be. The whole first impressions thing... I shivered slightly coming out of the shower. It was an incredibly hot day, so I decided to braid my hair out of the way. I chose skinny jeans, a green fitted t-shirt and my vans. I didn't want to expose a lot of skin. What if he thinks I'm a tramp? I shivered again and took a deep breath.

Upon entering back into Edward's small living room, my cell phone went off.

"Mom," I said answering.

"Hey, baby, I'm on my way. I just have to pick up some wine."

"All right," I whined.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied.

"Bella, he's just as nervous to meet you... Again." She sighed. "He's a wonderful man, and he's funny. You'll be fine," She assured.

"Okay, I believe you." The line beeped and I saw Alice calling in.

"I'll see you soon. Love you," I said.

"Love you," Renee replied. I clicked over to Alice.

"Hey, Ali," I breathed happily.

"Just calling to check on you," She said. I smiled and walked to the big window. A summer storm was brewing behind the mountains. I wished for some rain quickly.

"I'm all right. Edward will be home any time and then we'll go up to the house."

"Good. It'll be great! Remember, he's trying to impress you, too." I chuckled.

"How's work?"

"Great. Jacob has been awesome, actually. He let me leave early today to make it to our class with more time to study. That exam was so easy."

"Tell me about it," She agreed. "I wonder how Rosalie did." I giggled.

"I haven't talked to her, actually."

"Yeah, me either," Alice replied. I made a quick mental note to call her later.

"How's sex?" She asked suddenly. Even over a phone call, my cheeks went red.

"Great... We've learned a lot. You?"

"It getting there," Alice replied with a laugh.

"It only gets better," I told her truthfully.

"It better. So, I'll see you at graduation on Friday?"

"Yes," I told her. Edward and Jasper would be graduating with their degrees. Edward was more than excited for it, too.

"Stop fidgeting," Edward scolded. We were hand in hand walking up the hill to his dad's house twenty minutes later. I could not stop moving my free hand in my hair, pulling my braid, or biting my thumb nail. We came to the front door and stepped in. I thought we were going to knock, but that would have been pointless. I chuckled inwardly at myself. Edward let go of my hand and my breathing stopped.

"Dad?" He called.

"In the kitchen. Come on in," He yelled back. Edward saw my stricken state and took my hand again, bringing me back to life.

"Silly girl," He whispered in my ear. My insides had a pilot light that had just been lit my his whisper. I smiled and we came into a very large kitchen. It was designed with horses, chickens and any other farm animal there was. It was all Wall paper, wood floors, granite counter tops, and old white cabinets. It was welcoming. It eased me greatly and to see Edward's dad dressed so casually in loafers, khaki's and a white t-shirt. It was such a turn around from Charlie who practically wore the same AC/DC shirt every day of his life. Carlisle looked up from cutting tomatoes to wash his hands. Edward smirked. His dad dried his hands on his apron and came up to me extending his right hand.

"Bella," He addressed politely. His smile was charming and I took his hand. I almost pulled away from how soft it felt against mine. Of course, he was a doctor, so my answer was known as to why.

"Dr. Cullen," I replied.

"Oh, no," He said, "Carlisle, please," He asked. I smiled shyly. He stared into my brown eyes deeply with his green eyes. Edward must get his hazel color from his mother, I thought quietly.

"You look just like your mother," Carlisle breathed. My cheeks turned red. I was used to getting that compliment, but coming from Carlisle, it had me flushed.

"Alright, Dad," Edward droned. "I think you've scared her enough already." Carlisle released my hand and smirked at his son. Just then, the front door flew open. Renee bounded into the kitchen with two bottles of wine and a large bag over her shoulder. She looked so pretty in a white and yellow sundress. her hair was getting longer and the longer it got, the more naturally curly it became. Carlisle ran up to her immediately and took the wine.

"Thanks," She told him sweetly. He took her bag, too, and disappeared into another room briefly. Renee took a deep breath and came over to us. She hugged me tightly then pulled apart to look at Edward.

"You definitely are your fathers son," She confirmed with a laugh. Edward flushed. I watched him with surprise. Renee hugged Edward kindly, and he was quick to return it. Carlisle returned and went back to his tomatoes. Renee joined him.

"I hope BLT's are good," Carlisle said worriedly.

"I love them," I said. Edward rolled his eyes.

"It's the only thing the old man can make. You'll grow tired of them quickly." Carlisle laughed and threw a tomato slice at Edward. It hit Edward's chest accordingly, and we all laughed.

"Gross," Edward said, peeling the tomato from his shirt and tossing it to the sink. "Good thing I didn't dress up."

"Yeah, because that would be a first," Carlisle countered with a sly smile. I laughed at their easy banter.

"Why don't you show Bella the house," Carlisle suggested. "Dinner will be ready soon." Edward nodded and took my hand. Before leaving the kitchen, I looked back to see Carlisle plant a kiss on my mother's cheek. She smiled, and so did I.

The grand living room was grand to say the least. A shiny piano sat in the middle next to an old wood burning stove. On top of the instrument, were pictures that I was quick to go see. All but one were of Edward during various stages of his life. One with braces, one in a soccer jersey, and his high school graduation picture. The last picture however, was of a beautiful woman with chestnut colored hair, and Edward's eyes. She sat smiling widely on an old tire swing. I smiled softly, but made no move to comment. Edward sat down at the piano.

"Don't tell me you play," I teased.

"Every day for twelve years until I thought it wasn't manly. My mother insisted upon teaching me." What can't this man do? How is it that everyday something new about him has me falling even more in love with him? It didn't seem fair for him to get someone so ordinary like me.

"Play something," I asked. Edward smiled and placed his long fingers over the keys. He hesitated then broke out into Chopsticks. I giggled and slapped his arm. He pulled me to sit down on the bench next to him.

"Do you know anything?" He asked. I thought for a moment.

"One thing," I said. I placed my boney fingers over the soft keys and began to play the top half of Heart and Soul. Edward laughed wholeheartedly and took the bottom half. We played the entire song twice. It was such a beautiful sound, and it put us together as one in a new way. When we stopped, applause sounded from behind us. We jumped and turned to see Renee and Carlisle at the wide doorway. I smiled shyly and Edward stood up. Renee came over to hand me a glass of wine and Carlisle gave one to his son. It was white wine, my favorite. I sipped it slowly. Our parents took a seat on the sofa across from the piano. It was awkward for a moment until Renee spoke.

"I heard you ride horses, too, Edward," She said smiling. Edward shuffled on his feet.

"Yeah, and I am teaching Bella," He replied with a wide smile my way. I turned to give him a dirty look for taking the light off of himself and onto me.

"It's fun," I said lamely.

"Bella on a horse?" My mother asked surprised. I shrugged my shoulders.

"So, you want the wedding here?" I asked. Renee and Carlisle both broke out in smiles. Edward didn't show any emotion on the topic at all.

"Yes," Carlisle said proudly. "In two weeks." Just then, Edward choked on his wine. We watched as he recovered and his eyes grew wide.

"Two weeks?" Edward asked through a scratchy throat. Carlisle nodded. I stood up and went to stand next him. He eased up at my approach.

"Where at?" Edward asked.

"The back. We'll rent tents and caterers, a DJ... The works."

"How many people?" I asked. Renee chuckled.

"A lot," Carlisle answered for her.

"Dad has lots of friends," Edward said snidely. I elbowed him. He relented and bowed his head. A timer went off in the kitchen and we all jumped in surprise.

"Come help me in the kitchen, son," Carlisle said rising. Edward nodded and left me with Renee.

"Have you decided on colors?" I asked, turning back to Renee.

"Sapphire and silver."

"That's pretty," I told her. I grinned. "Like you ring." She nodded as ER red lit up.

"I already have a dress idea for you. Can you go shopping next week?"

"Yeah, that would be fun," I lied. Renee knew how much I loathed shopping, but I would shove that down for my mother. She gave me a knowing smile.

"Come and get it!" Carlisle called. I finished my wine and so our strange and somewhat awkward night continued.

Friday Graduation had everyone in a rush. I got my sealed paper saying that I finished and passed the Equis course with an A+. Jacob would be proud, and I was now allowed to work with horses freely. Carlisle was in attendance with Renee, and that was another something we would have to get used to. Now that they were openly official, they were always together.

The graduating class was small, but I liked it that way, especially since it was all outside. We had to listen to one valedictorian speech and only get through one hundred Simpsons handouts. The girls and I cheered relentlessly when Edward and Jasper made their way across the stage. Being in the south, everything was always some sort of get together that involved food. The south love to eat together, and so the college provided a nice feast after the ceremony. It was evening, and very humid from the rain storms the night before. My hair curled nicely and I wore a short flowing sun dress. It was teal, and I borrowed it from Renee. Small boobs ran in the family, sadly.

I sat with Rosalie and Alice against the tree line on a blanket. We watched as people ate and chatted aimlessly. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper were participating in the last soccer game of the season just after the ceremony had ended. It was only a scrimmage, though, so every now and then, our respected boyfriend would come harass us accordingly.

"I'm in love," I said. Alice and Rosalie nodded.

"Ditto," The said together. I looked to them happily.

"But," Rose began quietly, "I don't know if Emmett is going to stick around."

"Why the fuck not?" Alice scorned.

"I'm a week late," Rose whispered. Alice and I were stricken in shock.

"You're..." Alice trailed off. Rosalie nodded her answer.

"How did this happen?" I asked. Rose bowed her head shamefully.

"I missed a pill. The crazy thing is, I'm excited. I've wanted children all my life and this school stuff isn't really my thing."

"When does Emmett graduate?" I asked.

"December."

"When will you tell him?"

"Soon. We'll be out of town visiting his sick grandma but we'll be back by the time your mom gets married. I want to tell him when we're far away, and stuck together." Alice giggled.

"It'll be all right," I assured her. Rose smiled.

"I know. It just better be a girl." We all laughed.

"How are you and Edward?" Rose asked. I looked back to the soccer field and locked eyes with Edward. He winked at me. I melted and turned back to my friends.

"Perfect," I breathed.

"So you know what kinky shit you like and don't like now?" Rose urged with wiggling eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I guess," I replied.

"What all have you done?" Alice asked. "I mean your past relationship details were sort of vague." I looked down to my wine cooler and sighed.

"It was rough stuff. He controlled what I wanted, so that meant that I truly believed I wanted it because he did. Until I met Edward, I had no idea how fucked up Jack was. It went beyond a sub/dom relationship." Before I could continue, a rustle in the trees behind us stopped me. We all turned back to see nothing but the wind moving a few beaches in the thick foliage. My inside tightened for some unknown reason. It felt like eyes were on me. I shivered. As soon as I turned back around, Edward and his friends were coming up to us soaking wet. Apparently the sprinklers had gone off. Edward scooped me in his arms and started running towards the field. I kicked and screamed. Rose and Alice did the same thing.

"I don't want to get wet!" I cried. Edward clutched me to his chest and moved to my ear.

"I like you wet best," He teased. I laughed as Edward ran through a sprinkler. We all played until darkness fell and forced us in our separate ways. It wouldn't be long before the summer was over. We knew it, but wouldn't say it.

Hidden deep within me was a feeling of worry and regret that I desperately could not escape... I couldn't place it, couldn't reach for it, and couldn't face it.

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**I would love to hear your thoughts! Review! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Happy Tuesday my readers! I give you an intense chapter :) BTW! Chapter 13 marked my longest story yet. I feel quite accomplished. LOL.**

**I claim NOTHING Twilight. Just this little wacko story line.**

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**Chapter 14:**

**Phone Call**

My eyes were heavy. I tried to open them, but my mind was still asleep. Another shrilling ring sounded. My ears pounded and my eyes flew open. I thought the sound was in my dream. I sat up in the dark. Edward moved beside me but did not wake. The ringing continued. I looked to the bedside table and saw my iPhone illuminated. Call from Dad, it read. I shivered my usual shiver and reached for it. I got up from the bed and jogged to the living room couch not wanting to wake Edward. I slid the call open.

"Hello?" I said groggily. My eyes had slowly begun to adjust to the darkness. Night was shinning through the large living room window. Or was it morning? My eyes glanced to the microwave clock. It was just after four am.

"Bells," My dad replied. "How the fuck are you?" Of course he wouldn't remember the three hour time difference. It was only one am in California and Charlie was just getting started.

"Hi, daddy," I said. "I'm good. How are you?"

"Fantastic!" He slurred. I rolled my eyes then threw my head in my hand.

"Good, dad," I replied slowly.

"You working?"

"I am. I got a job at a vet's office."

"Any boyfriends?" He asked.

"Uh, no." I lied.

"Sure, sure. You're too pretty to be single, Bells."

"Thanks dad." Charlie coughed harshly.

"Are you all right? That cough sounds bad, dad."

"Yeah, I uh, went to the doc. Apparently I got the cancer of the lungs. Who knew?" He laughed. My heart constricted so painfully that I had to stand up. I walked to the window and stared out to the stars.

"Are you outside daddy?"

"The porch. You know me."

"Look up," I instructed.

"You know I can only see one star from all the fuckin' city lights," He droned.

"Yeah, but I'm looking at that same star right now. The North Star."

"I see what you see," He said. He coughed again.

"Are you getting treatment?" I asked.

"Fuck no," He shot. "And loose all my hair?" He laughed. "I'll take my chances."

"Don't die because of your vanity, dad."

"Everybody dies, Bella." I sighed and punched the bridge of my nose to suppress the tears. I hated loving this man after all he has done. But as I had said before, he's still my daddy.

"Okay," I choked.

"How's your mother?"

"Good. She's real good." I wouldn't be the one to break the wedding news.

"She fucking anyone?"

"Dad!" I scolded. Get Charlie drinking and he can talk your ear off. He becomes really brash, too. Renee would send me to my room as a kid just to avoid an earshot of nasty language. I was used to it now. Sex was never not discussed in our home. It wasn't love, it was sex.

"What? It is a legitimate question. I tried calling her, you know. The bitch won't even answer my texts." I could hear him take a drink of his alcohol.

"Yeah, well, she has a lot of anger still," I said softly. Charlie scoffed.

"I never did anything wrong! I loved that woman every goddamn day!"

"You love your bottle more, dad." Charlie wouldn't deny that.

"She's the one that cheated, though. I never-"

"Cheated?" I asked. "When? What are you talking about?"

"Yep. You were only seventeen." My mind began to race with past memories searching for any such evidence. I began to pace the floor.

"Fuckin' whore," Charlie mumbled. I could hear him take another swig of his drink.

"You're lying," I said. I ground my teeth together.

"Remember when I was gone for work that one weekend?"

"The weekend you lost your job, yeah," I reminded. Charlie snorted.

"I didn't loose my job, Bells. I quit. I came home... Early."

"Well I was at camp for school, so I didn't know." My mind fought to remember something. Anything. Nothing.

"Yep. Came home and caught her in the act. I was the one that started the divorce talk."

"Oh, please, dad. You refused to sign the papers!"

"Only because she was taking you away from me!" He shot back drunkenly. I sighed.

"I chose to go, dad," I replied softly.

"Please. You guys left only to get away from your boyfriend." My mind shot furiously into the sky as I tried to grasp what he was telling me.

"He says hi, by the way," Charlie added. I stopped pacing.

"What?" I whispered.

"He's here next to me. Say hi, Jack!" Charlie called. My eyes went wide and black in horror. I could hear a voice distant in the background now... Calling to me.

"You still see him?" I seethed. Charlie snorted again.

"He's all I got now," He slurred.

"After all he did to me?" I choked. Tears streamed down my cheeks. They were as cold as ice. It burned.

"So, he fucked my wife and my daughter. Big deal."

"Fuck you!" I cried. "Fuck you, dad!"

"Isabella?" A thick voice called. I stopped breathing. My lungs constricted.

"Jack," I whispered.

"How's Tennessee?" He wanted small talk? I tried to take a breath. I could hang up, but I couldn't move.

"Isabella," He called.

"No," I whispered.

"Oh, Isabella," He said again. "The things you could be doing right now." I felt his voice roll over me and reach into my bones. It was like trying to come out of a thick and relentless morning fog.

"Isabella," He said firmly. I stood up tall and walked back to Edward's bedroom. I could feel my blood veins reopen the closer I got. I stood in the doorway watching Edward sleep peacefully. He was beautiful. It made more tears come.

"Are you still there, Isabella?" My demon asked. I breathed in deep.

"No, Jack. I'm not." I ended the call and stared at my phone blankly. Edward stirred, waking me. I smiled and crawled back into bed. He felt me next to him and reached for me. I laid cradled in his arms and fell back asleep instantly.

The wedding was less than a week away and today was the day of shopping with Renee. She was ecstatic, of course. After my late night phone call with my dad, I had a few days to think about it. Edward was a perfect sounding board as he listened to all of the details. He was furious at first, but that passed. He understood my anger towards Renee but talked me into waiting until after the wedding to discuss it with her. Part of me wanted to do it after, but I was angry. I was hurt. I was grossed out.

As I came out of the dressing room in the dress my mother had picked out, I could see her eyes open wide with tears in them already. I rolled my eyes and walked to the full length mirror. I took my own breath away seeing my own reflection. The dress was knee length and flowed with my movement. It hugged every curve my body made. The collar was a plunging neck line that showed my pale chest. Edward's favorite part of me was the bareness between my breasts. It was flat, but it was beautiful. The dress was the color of sapphire with silver sequins that shined over top of the entire thing. It was like wearing a million diamonds.

"Wow," I breathed. I pushed a long strand of hair behind my shoulder as Renee came up and stood behind me. She put her hands on my shoulders. I tensed slightly, remembering...

"You look so beautiful," She said choked. I patted her hand and stepped away from her touch. I twirled and smiled at the dress.

"I do love this dress," I told her. "What shoes do I have to wear?"

"Well, I was thinking you could choose," Renee replied smiling.

"Me? You mean, no heels?" She shook her head accordingly. I became excited at this news.

"Thanks mom," I told her. "My old Converse it is." Renee smiled and rolled her eyes.

"You'll look perfect. You shine so bright."

"So will you," I told her truthfully. Her dress was perfect and was made as if it was specifically for her alone.

"What is going on with you?" She asked suddenly. I shrugged and looked away from her eyes.

"I know when something is bothering you, Isabella," She scorned. I flinched under her name calling.

"Dad called me," I said slowly.

"Oh."

"Yeah," I whispered.

"And how's he?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Fine," I seethed. "He sick. He's really sick."

"I know," She replied quietly. She looked forlorn.

"Oh?"

"He is still on my insurance policy. I won't remove him from it. I knew he was sick for a while, he just wouldn't go to the doctor. I got a letter in the mail from the insurance company with all they tested him for." I looked into her green eyes deeply.

"Oh," I said again. "He won't get treatment."

"I'll talk to him."

"It's whatever. It's his life," I scoffed. Renee's face softened and she came up to me.

"Oh, baby," She soothed. I crossed my arms.

"It's fine, mom. I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? What else did he say?" She asked angrily.

"Nothing."

"I'm so glad I got you away," She said relieved.

"Is that why you really took me from him, mom?" She flinched.

"Took you?"

"You wanted me to go. You wanted me away from them."

"Bella," She said. She reached for me but I backed away. She dropped her arms sadly.

"What did he do?" She asked.

"No, mom. What did you do?" I yelled. I thought I could hold it in. I thought I was strong enough. I tried to grasp onto my past but it was still lost in space. Renee watched me carefully. I tuned around abruptly and went back to the dressing room. I changed in a rush and we paid for the dress without a word to each other.

Back outside of the bridal boutique, I jogged for my car.

"Bella, stop!" Renee called. I quick walking and stood in the middle of the parking lot. My fists clenched tight at my side.

"What is it?" She asked angrily coming up to me. I spun around with fury.

"You fucked Jack! You cheated on dad. You had me thinking it was all his fault. All my fault! How could you?" I cried. I buried my face in my hands.

"It was never your fault, Bella," She said softly.

"How could you let me think it was?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." She touched my shoulder and it broke me. I was sick of crying, sick of no control over my emotions. She walked me to my car and we got inside. I started my old Honda to turn on the AC and dried my eyes with my shirt.

"It was before you knew who he was," She began quietly. "It was a moment of weakness. Drunken weakness. I would do anything to take it back," She said defeated. "I didn't want it."

"It's disgusting, mom! That's the only reason he wanted me. Do you have any idea how used I feel? How embarrassed I am that you know everything that happened?" Renee shuddered and looked down to her hands.

"I try not to think about it," She whispered.

"Well sometimes you have to!" I yelled. "I can't face it all alone!" To think of her with someone sexually that I have been with in such a raw way had my stomach in knots.

"Did he make you... I mean was there," I cut off unable to finish. She shook her head.

"No. Nothing like it was with you." For some reason that had me feeling relief. I didn't want her to know those things first handedly. "I find all of that repulsive," She admitted. I laughed loudly. Renee looked at me with horror in her eyes.

"Oh, mom," I said exasperated.

"I hardly think it is something to laugh about, Isabella," She scolded. I relented and sighed.

"I'm sorry. And I am sorry that you found out as much as you did."

"So am I," She admitted. "I hate what he did to you, Bella. You were too young and naive to know the difference between healthy and not."

"I thought I wanted it," I admitted sheepishly.

"I know. It just hurts me, baby." We were quiet for a moment. Cold air cooled us in the small space protecting us from the summer heat.

"Now that we both know everything," I began, "Can we not discuss it anymore unless absolutely necessary, please?" I asked. Renee turned to me with a smile.

"Deal." I nodded and put my seatbelt on.

"One more thing?" I hedged. She looked to me patiently.

"Don't call me Isabella for a while, okay?" She didn't ask why, knowing that she didn't truly want to know the answer. She nodded. I felt better. We pulled out of the bridal store with my new dress, our new selves, and left the rest behind us.

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**Okay, so how was that?! Any thoughts on Charlie and creepy Jack? What about Bella's mama? Review please! So glad you all are enjoying this story. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:**

**Silver Sapphire**

Things in my life had grown hectic quickly. Between work, and helping planning a wedding, it left little time for anything else. Sadly, I had even been sleeping over at Renee's again to help out more. I missed Edward terribly and hadn't seen him in two days.

Fortunately, I would today, the day of the wedding. I had been up since before dawn helping Renee with the finishing touches. She had hired a caterer, but was quick to fire the poor woman. Renee is the do it yourself sort of person. The guest list was well above one hundred. The food and alcohol was being delivered and the large tent outside had been set and decorated accordingly. I thought I would grow tired of sapphire and silver, but it was a beautiful combination. I was upstairs in Edward's old bedroom at Carlisle's house getting ready before I had to help Renee dress. I was thankful for the short time alone and couldn't help the groan that left my mouth when a knock came to the door.

"Yeah," I whined. The door opened slowly and I was met with golden eyes. My chest eased and my heart filled. I laid the tube of mascara down on the desk and got up from the folding chair quickly. Edward smiled and I ran into his arms. He buried his face in my hair and smelled.

"I missed you," I said wistfully.

"I missed you, more," He replied. We pulled apart and I took in his appearance. Edward was wearing a pale grey suit with a white vest and sapphire tie. He had a silk silver flower sticking out of his coat pocket. His hair was bronze and tamed, and he had even trimmed his beard. It was short with stubble, but neat.

"Wow," I breathed. He rolled his eyes and held me out at arms length.

"Wow, yourself," He cooed. I blushed and looked down to my hightop Converse sneakers. Renee had chosen well in the dress. It was still just as beautiful as it had been the day we bought it. My hair was half up, held by a silver pin with diamonds, and my long hair was curled loosely. Renee allowed me to apply my own make up as well, knowing I would put up a fight if her stylist were to do it. I believed that I would surely look like a clown.

"Yeah, well," I said embarrassed. Edward winked at me. He pulled me to his chest and kissed my mouth. It felt so good to have his lips back on mine. I relished in it and felt bare without them when he pulled away. I frowned.

"I can't be kissing you too much," He said quietly.

"Why not?" I argued.

"Because... It does things to me," He whispered. I raised my eyebrows. Edward glanced downward. I followed his gaze as caught sight of his growing crotch. I smiled widely.

"Maybe we can sneak away," I suggested as I placed my hand over the hardness in his pants. Edward flinched.

"Yes," He breathed. He kissed me once more.

"Emmett and Jasper called and invited us to a woods party tonight after the wedding. Are you up for it?"

"Woods party?" I asked.

"Yeah, on Jasper's property. Most of it is wooded area. A bunch of us go out, have a bonfire and party in the woods. We have one every year at the end of summer. It is sort of a hike out there, but they're fun," Edward explained animatedly.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," I agreed. He smiled widely then kissed me again.

"I'll see you down there," He said. I smiled and he left me to myself again. I now hurried in getting ready to get to Renee.

"Mom," I said through a thick throat. Tears threatened me, but I pushed them away before they could fall. Renee stood before me in her dress. It was an empire waste that flared out into a bell. Small pearly white beads laced the fabric accordingly. She chose high heels, of course, but it all looked perfect. Her sapphire ring, a pair of sapphire studded earrings and her mother's old silver chain necklace. It was thin and delicate and went to Renee's collar bones.

"How's the hair?" Renee asked, lightly patting her head. She decided on a tasteful up-do with small sapphire and pearl clips placed throughout. I nodded.

"Perfect. Don't touch," I told her. Renee dropped her hands and took a deep breath.

"I'm ready," She whispered.

"You deserve every bit of this," I told her. Renee stepped forward and hugged me lightly. She smelt of fresh lavender. It was a smell I would never forget as we began our way down to our new lives.

Canon in D was still ringing in my ears as Edward and I walked down the aisle arm in arm. The ceremony had lasted only fifteen minutes, but it was a meaningful time full of love and honesty. Edward and I stared at one another the entire time, saying the same things Renee and Carlisle were to each other, but only with our eyes.

After food had been eaten, and much alcohol had been drunk by most, dancing had begun. Rosalie and Alice showed up for a little while to wish their best before they left to help Jasper and Emmett. Edward was dancing with one of his little cousins out on the dance floor. I watched them closely. It was adorable to see.

The drink table was where I was the most. It seemed to bring people in that I had to meet or see, then they would leave just as soon. I liked that. Watching Carlisle and Renee together was a happy thing. It made me feel love because I could see it in them. After all these years, they finally got each other. It was their happily ever after.

"Bella, hello." My mind broke from within its deep thoughts when I turned to see Jacob next to me.

"Jacob. Hi," I breathed. I had no idea he had been here, and it worried me that he was here now. He leaned against the bar beside me with his dark liquored drink in hand.

"Nice wedding, yeah?" He stated.

"Mhmm," I agreed with a nod.

"And I see Edward is eyeing you a lot tonight." His comment threw me off guard, causing my eyes to shoot back to Edward on the dance floor. His little blonde haired cousin was standing on his feet still dancing away as Edward watched me carefully. I couldn't think of a reply, so I forced a shy smile. Jacob's eyes narrowed briefly then he turned back to me.

"I had no idea you knew Rosalie Hale," He stated. I nodded confused.

"Her dad has become a silent partner at the office."

"Oh, that's great," I replied truthfully. Jacob nodded.

"You'll be in on Monday?" He asked.

"I'll be there."

"See you," He said. He smiled, glanced back to Edward then left. I took a deep breath and came to realize that he would never overcome his loss. No one truly does. Carlisle never needed to know the truth. What good would it do? His relationship with Edward had been improving since his relationship with Renee.

I set my drink down and walked to Edward on the dance floor. His little cousin did a curtsy to me and left us as a new song began to play. Edward offered his hand to me and I took it firmly. He spun me around causing a giggle to escape my lips before he pulled me tight to his chest.

"I will marry you one day, Bella Swan," He said smiling.

"Not if I marry you first," I told him. He kissed my lips softly, deeply. He still managed to take my breath away. It was a feeling I knew would never fade with him.

"Okay, love birds," Carlisle teased. We looked over to him and Renee next to us.

"I could say that same about you," Edward scoffed. Carlisle blushed.

"We're getting ready to leave," Renee said sadly. I smiled and pulled away from Edward to hug my mother.

"Enjoy the cruise," I told her. She sniffled and nodded.

"I won't get cell service until tomorrow evening sometime. I'll call you then," She told me. I nodded and wiped a small year from my eye. Renee had changed into a baby blue dress that hugged all her curves. Her cream colored pumps were very high. Carlisle looked comfortable in khakis and a polo.

"The main house is already locked. If you need anything you have your key," Carlisle told Edward.

"Sure thing," Edward replied.

"We have hired people to clean up the wedding. They'll start after we leave," Renee said. We all smiled and hugged each other one more time before our parents left for their honeymoon. Edward and I watched them go together. It all felt good.

With my boyfriend's arms draped over me, he looked down into my eyes.

"You ready for a fuckin' party?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"More than ready," I answered.

Hand in hand we went to change and left for Jasper's. The end of summer was upon us, and we wanted one last night to enjoy it freely. We would all return to work on Monday, so why not live it up a little? That strange and distant feeling in my stomach was slowly beginning to fade away.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

**Black Dark**

Edward's car pulled up along Jasper's lengthy driveway. It was almost nine at night and still light outside. I would miss that come the time change. I had not gotten a very good look at the property last time I was here. It stretched on as far as my eyes could see. Tall old moss covered trees were everywhere.

"How much property does he have?" I asked astounded.

"Hundreds. It has been in his family for generations. It was used to house slaughter cows a long time ago," Edward informed. I cringed slightly and looked ahead to see Jasper's small house come into view. Cars lined the driveway up to the house.

"Wow, a lot of people," I said.

"Jasper knows people who knows people who knows people. It's always very big and booming," Edward said chuckling. "Never a dull time has been had." I smiled excitedly.

We parked and started to walk around back hand in hand. As we came to the tree line a dirt trail could be seen. My eyes glanced to the left to see the small bench Edward and I were at once not very long ago. I squeezed his hand firmly. The dirt trail was long and dark amongst the trees. The more the walked, the closer people's voices and music could be heard.

I was very glad to have changed into my old converse. I picked my favorite grey tank top, a black bra, and jean shorts. My hair was up in a ponytail, still curled from the wedding. Edward looked comfortable in jeans, old boots, and a black v-neck. I wanted to take him on the ground right here hit suppressed my urges and continued to walk.

Edward wasn't kidding when he said it was a hike. It felt like we had walked forever when it had only been fifteen minutes. I was proud of myself for not stumbling over anything along the path. Music was loud and strong now and we could see light from the very large fire. People were everywhere. Rosalie and Alice spotted me immediately. Edward released my hand and smiled to them. He nodded at me. I kissed his cheek and skipped over to my friends.

"Bella!" Alice said happily. She hugged my neck.

"The wedding was beautiful," She said as we pulled apart.

"It was, wasn't it?" I agreed. Rose nodded with Alice.

"This is so neat out here," I told them.

"Kind of spooky to me," Rose said. I laughed.

"No one is out here but us," I said.

"Yeah, for miles and miles," Alice added.

"I don't even get cell service," Rosalie whined. I frowned and reached for my phone in my back pocket.

"Hmm, neither do I," I said.

"Jasper does," Alice assured. I reached for a strawberry wine cooler in the bin next to Alice and opened it. I noticed Rose digging in her purse. She brought out a small bag and rolling papers. I raised my eyebrows.

"Weed? Seriously Rosie?" I said laughing.

"Why not?" She countered. "Alice promised she'd try it tonight." I looked to Alice in surprise. She shrugged.

"Can't hurt anything. It's not like I'm trying Meth," She said jokingly. I rolled my eyes.

"You gonna take a hit?" Rose asked.

"It's not really my thing. I've only had bad trips each time," I said.

"It all depends on your surroundings," Rose informed. "If you go at it positively, and with good people, it's so fun. I bet Edward will try." I shrugged and looked over to him across the fire. He was laughing with Emmett and Jasper. People danced around the fire to the music that wafted from the battery powered system. Some people could be seen sitting, leaning on trees, and smoking, too. I shrugged again to myself.

"Hey guys!" Rose called. Our men looked over to her and walked around the fire.

"You down?" Rose asked holding up her newly rolled joint. They all shrugged and smiled. I looked to Edward in surprise.

"What?" He defended with a smirk. "I used to all the time. Why not?" I shrugged and figured the same thing. It couldn't hurt anything. Rose lit the end and inhaled deeply before passing it to Alice. She coughed on her hit but took a pretty good one. Jasper took a long pull and blew out smoke rings. We all laughed. He passed it to me and I took it in my mouth. In breathed in heavily and held the smoke in as long as I could before giving it to Edward. He took an even larger pull that Jasper and held it in for a long time. I was impressed.

The joint went around our small circle three times before it went out. It didn't take long for me to feel the high. My vision made everything look glossy. I clinched to Edward's shoulders as we had all begun to dance. I knew it reminded us of the rave at The X. We were all in one spot dancing happily just like our first night.

Darkness had descended fully above us. The large bonfire gave off enough light for everyone. It crackled into the sky and broke into little orange diamonds. I watched it in amazement. Clearly my stoned state was making everything seem more magnificent than usual, but I was complaining. I was on my third wine cooler desperately trying to rid my mouth of the dry cotton feeling. It was the only thing I hated.

Alice and Rosalie hung on their boyfriends dancing as if they were most to the world. The marijuana put my mind in overdrive. I could think of a million different things in one second and understand it all with no time passed. Apparently everyone knew the song playing, because every person here had begun to dance along to it, too. There was at least twenty-five or more people around us all moving and experiencing their own highs. I looked back to Edward who smiled widely. The lyrics took over and filled my ears.

_Turm on the lights_

_I'm looking for her too_

_I heard she keeps her promises_

_And never turns on you_

_I wanna tell the world about you_

_So they can just get jealous_

_When we get together we make magic_

_And it is ours_

Everything moved in slow motion. Edward's eyes were my constant, bringing me back to reality with a crash. I pulled him to my mouth hotly. He reciprocated and slipped his tongue into my mouth. No kiss had ever felt as powerful due to my heightened senses. I pulled away for air and searched the space around us.

"Let's go somewhere," I said breathless. Edward ginned wickedly and took my hand. We left the fire and people behind us as we traveled deeper into the forest. It was dark, only the moon showed us the way. We stopped and Edward looked around to see nothing and no one. He pulled my hand and spun me around until my back was against a thick tree. Soft moss touched my exposed shoulders. I smiled and pulled his face back to mine.

We kissed for a long time. I never grew tired, my mouth didn't ache, my tongue didn't throb. Edward was everywhere around me, on me, and almost in me. I ripped my shorts to the ground and took one leg out, leaving my other in. Edward undid his jeans button hastily. He slid an arm under my left thigh and lifted my leg up high, exposing my heat to his throbbing cock. He shoved into me. The key in its lock filled me full once again. I moaned. With my hand underneath the back of his shirt, I scratched his skin. Edward grunted and continued to pound into me.

I slowly began to wonder why we hadn't done this before. Sex on weed was a totally new experience. It was rough and raw but because I loved him, it was special, too. I threw my head back against the tree and stared into the night sky. The tree we were up against was tall. It stretched into the sky, branches reaching out to other trees. Diamond stars were slowly becoming covered by dark clouds. My orgasm burst through me without warning. I didn't expect it so soon. I cried out and Edward followed suit, filling me with his own orgasm. He collapsed his head into my shoulder.

My arms went limp at his side. He held my leg up tightly and didn't pull himself out of me for a long time.

"I love you so much, Bella," He whispered. I smiled and looked down from the sky and into his eyes.

"I love you, Edward," I replied. He smiled, kissed my lips, then lowered my leg back down to the ground. I pulled my shorts back up and pulled my messed up pony tail down. Edward adjusted his clothes and took a deep breath.

A snapping branch sounded not far from where we stood. Our heads looked around in wonder but saw nothing.

"Probably a squirrel or some shit," Edward assured. He took my hand but didn't move to turn around. Suddenly, something came down over his head hard. A painful noise sounded from the collision his skull took. Edward dropped to the ground in front of me.

"Edward!" I cried and fell to the ground next to him. I looked up to see an unknown figure standing before me. Everything was dark and hooded. My marijuana induced high went away and left me confused. Time started to speed up around me. A strong hit of someone's fist came down on my left cheek bone. My teeth rattled and cut into my cheek. I fell to the dirt and my eyes clamped shut. A swift kick shot into my stomach. All the air left me for a time I could not register in length. I moaned in pain and wanted to throw up. Blood filled my mouth thick and salty.

My mind started to pull away from me. I was lifted off of the ground and thrown over someone's thick shoulder. Thunder boomed above us. My consciousness slipped away the further I went from Edward. I wanted to fight, to scream, anything. I could hear the music of the party growing louder for a brief moment. It began to fade quietly into the night again, but lyrics entered my ear just before blackness over took me completely.

_Far off in the distance_

_Somewhere you can't see_

_Allegiances have formed your destiny_

_Opposition all around_

_Feeding off your soul_

_Trying hard to swallow up you whole_

_And the demons all around you waiting_

_For you to sell your soul_

* * *

**Chapter songs are:**

**Turn On the Lights by Future**

**Black by Kari Kimmel (Any Walking Dead fans? - this song!)**

**Well?! Who do you guys think it could be?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

**Runner**

_Run, run, run and hide_

_Somewhere no one else can find_

_Tall trees bend and lean pointing where to go_

_Where you will still be all alone_

_Don't you fret, my dear_

_It'll all be over soon_

_I'll be waiting here for you_

_Run fast as you can_

My head was pounding. The pulse of my still running blood thumped in my ears loudly. I tried opened my eyes. It was pitch black. I blinked to rid myself of the tears. My nose eyes and throat told me that I had cried a lot, but I could not recall when it happened. I opened my mouth to scram. My voice cracked. I tried swallowing. Dry blood tasted everywhere my tongue went.

The creaking sound of an old heavy door opened. I searched for light. Footsteps came closer, closer, until they stopped in front of me. The click of a light turned on. It was bright enough to burn my eyes, so I closed them again. The dark felt good. I realized that I couldn't move my body. My hands and legs were bound with plastic. Tears threatened me, but I tried seeing the light again.

Everything slowly came into focus. Dirt floors, zip ties binding my limbs that cut into my skin, my hair was clumped together with mud from lying on the floor. The light was in front of me on a metal stand. It was square and had at least six light bulbs in it. Then, my eyes darted around for a exit. It looked like horse stalls lining the entire enclosed space. I shook my head confused.

"Don't you look pretty," A voice said. My glance shot upward. I furrowed my eyebrows in disbelief.

"Jacob?" I whispered. My clear voice was slowly returning to me the more I swallowed. My face hurt. My stomach churned.

"You guessed it," He replied. He moved away from the light and came into focus. His clothes were all black. Pants, tank top, shoes and hair. His skin looked as brown as his eyes.

"Where's Edward?" I asked. I tried to sit up. My elbows dug into the ground and I lifted my heavy frame up to rest on the cold wall behind me. It was scratchy like rusted metal. My nose cleared after the crying and I could smell. The scent was a low distant smell of death. It made my stomach hurt more.

"Oh, I don't know. Back in the woods somewhere I guess," Jacob replied. I bowed my head.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"You," He said. I looked up to him again. His teeth were too white and he was smiling at me.

"Why?" I asked. Jacob started to pace in front of me. His boots crunched over small rocks. He was hitting his hand mindlessly with a whip of some sort.

"Well, Bella, your boyfriend took everything I ever cared about away from me."

"No he didn't," I seethed. Jacob stopped pacing and knelt down in front of me. His large hand took hold of my face to steady his gaze on mine. I couldn't look away. His whiskey breath came over me.

"Oh, but he did," He said with venom. "My poor sister. He broke my little sister's heart. And his mother," He cut off to snort. "His mother was mine, too." He stood up again and returned to his slow pacing.

"Your sister cheated on Edward!" I spat. "And his mother was cheating on his father."

"That may be, but now he will pay. He will know what it is like to be alone in the world walking around aimlessly like the dead at night."

"Jacob, please," I begged. I brought my legs to my chest. Something hard dug into my pelvic bone.

Jacob stopped in front of me again and knelt down. He ripped my legs outward and took out a knife. I held my breath. He slid the blade underneath the zip tie and ripped upward, freeing my bounds. He made no move to untie my hands and he stood back up.

"I really liked you, Bella," He said. My breathing was harsh.

"Get up," He ordered. Slowly, I twisted my legs to help me stand. I felt weak with nothing in me. I stood hunched over. My converse had been untied so they were loose on my feet. My shirt was twisted and my hands went limp at my waste tangled together. I stared at the dirt floor. Through the long hair that fell over my shoulders, it created a curtain. My eyes looked for an escape between hair strands secretly.

"Where are we?" I asked quietly.

"Far away," He replied. I cringed. How long had he carried me?

"So, I hear you like it rough," Jacob cooed. My wandering eyes bolted back to him in fear. I slowly shook my head.

"You do, I know," He assured. I watched him with narrow eyes.

"You shouldn't talk about such things in open places with your girlfriends," He warned. My mine raced back to a time that could be true. There was once in Edward's barn where I told my best friends of my horrid and strange past, then once at graduation. I shivered.

"You were in the woods at graduation. I heard you," I whispered.

"Good memory," He commented. "It is not something I ever expected with you little Bella. Whips and chains, huh?" He laughed. I cowered. Part of me wanted to deny it, but I knew he would not listen.

"That being said," Jacob furthered, "Turn around." My body was taken over by a robot. It turned and I stood with my back to him. He hit my back side with the crop. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Tell me," He said softy, "I've read that it doesn't matter the person giving it, that it will arouse you anyway. Do you feel aroused, Bella?" I shook my head immediately. Jacob hummed and hit me again harder.

"Maybe I should get Jack on the phone." My insides dropped to the floor in shock.

"Jack," I whispered.

"Oh, yes. After I heard your raunchy tale, I sort of delved into you past. It was interesting to say the least and very easy to do. Your father is pretty sick isn't he?" I choked on my tears and sniffed back forming drips of snot.

"But Jack, what a character. And he is so quick to discuss you and him." I shivered. Jacob hit me again. He stepped forward and I could feel his cold blade go underneath my shirt. He ripped upwards tearing the fabric of my favorite tank top. It fell to the ground in pieces.

I was suddenly thankful for the heat of July. I would not freeze to death in just my bra and shorts. In fact, it was incredibly humid in this place. My eyes started their wandering again. The stalls around us were old and used. There were broken pieces of rusted tools all over the ground. It clicked in my head all of a sudden. We had not even left Jasper's property. This was an old slaughter house. If I could find a way out, I could run to the house. Surely people had been searching for me already. Edward, would be all right. He would. I chanted this to myself over and over.

Jacob hit me across the back hard. I yelled in pain and almost fell back to re ground. He did it again. It split my skin and burned. I fell to my knees.

"How would you like to go?" Jacob asked. "I could beat you death, or just slice your neck open."

I gasped in fear and bowed my head. Jacob whipped me again, this time between my shoulder blades. I lunged forward, a hiss escaping my lips. The crop felt worn and old against my bare skin as Jacob trailed patterns down my back with it. It stung over my fresh wounds. My eyes peeled open and I saw what was digging into my back earlier. An old bridle bit was between my knees. My mind instantly formed a plan. Maybe it would fail, maybe I would die, but I had to try.

"Hit me again," I asked painfully. My teeth were clenched. Jacob laughed.

"I knew you would like it," He said through laughs. "All right, brave yourself." All of my muscles tensed and waited. He slammed the ship down over my back. I yelled out in pain.

Tears flowed down my hot cheeks. Slowly, I pulled my legs together and waited for him to hit me again. He did and I lurched over. My teeth ground together in pain, but my hands were on the rusty bridle. I gripped it tightly and raised back up. I needed him distracted and I needed all the strength I had left within me.

"Is that all you got?" I choked. Jacob snorted.

"Dirty girl," He said through ragged breaths. He whipped me again across my lower back. It stung all the way up my spine. I felt like fainting.

Suddenly, an old prayer entered into my mind. I wondered if it did to everyone that was about to die. I began to whisper it to myself for courage and strength.

And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

The old psalm filled me with a newfound strength that pulsed through my body. I waited for one more strike of the crop. It came, but it did not hurt as badly as the others. Just after it came into contact with my skin, I stood up and spun around with the bit outstretched in my tethered hands. It collided with Jacob's face, just over his eyes. He moaned in pain and fell to the ground.

"You bitch!" He yelled. His hands that now covered his face were soaked in blood. I could have run then, and I probably should have but my mind raced to thoughts of numerous horror films. The girl always gave one hit to her attacker that knocked him to the ground. Then, she would run and he would catch up with her. She never finished him off. I bit down hard and kicked him in the face. Jacob rolled over moaning. I kicked his back several times until my toes ached. He stopped making any sound.

I looked around frantically and started to run towards one of the cattle stalls. I jumped over the rotten wooded barrier and went towards the light. The smell of old cattle burned my nose and it was dark. I stumbled many times. My back burned. The light came closer, peeping through an old metal door. My tied hands pushed against it as hard as the could until I was able to step out.

The bright light of outside burned my eyes. They adjusted quickly and I was in an open field. No sign of other life could be seen. No houses, other barns, no people or sounds of cars. I looked around me and saw woods. I took of running and tripped. My shoes were too loose to run fast enough. I kicked them off and pushed myself back up. The closer I got to the trees, the better I felt. My breathing was clear and strong. My feet crunched over pine needles and small rocks painfully but it did not slow my stride. Trees whipped past me. I looked to the sky. It was freshly dawn and the moon could still be seen. I had only been gone over night. I followed The white ball in the sky. When I was directly underneath it, I would be back to the tree where I last saw Edward. I ran faster. My eyes couldn't help but to look over my shoulder periodically. Jacob was nowhere to be seen but everywhere in my mind.

Voices crept slowly into my earshot. I smiled widely and whined. My legs were going to give out on me soon. Through more trees, finally I broke through and two of my favorite faces came into my line of sight. My running slowed exponentially.

"There she is!" Rosalie cried.

"Bella!" Alice yelled. They ran over to me. All other eyes of the people still at the party, awake or just now waking, looked to me. My friends ran towards me but then slowed as they took in my battered appearance.

"Oh, my God," Alice breathed.

"Where have you been?" Rose asked. She removed her cardigan and threw it around me. I winced in pain. The soft fabric stung my back. Emmett and Jasper jogged over to us in shock. Emmett immediately took a knife from his pocket and cut the zip tie around my wrists. The ached as I stretched them out and thanked him.

"Jacob," I breathed.

"Your boss did this?" Rose asked in horror. I nodded and pulled the cardigan tighter around me.

"Bella, where is Edward?" Alice asked. She placed a hand on my shoulder but removed it when I flinched. My face went white and my head flew into dizziness.

"You mean, he's not here?" I whispered. Suddenly death didn't seem so terrible to me. I could have stayed back there with Jacob. Edward knew I loved him with all I had and him me, but was that enough to keep my own life if he was not in it? I wanted to keep running.

* * *

**Song is by The Civil Wars.**

**Did you all think it would be Jacob?! And where is Edward?! Let me know! xx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

**Found**

"What do you mean he isn't here?" I cried again. My body was freezing, my back no longer burning. All the blood I had was slowly drying up.

"We didn't even know you guys were missing until we woke up," Alice said shamefully.

"We figured you two were off fucking somewhere and we all fell asleep," Jasper added. Tears threatened my throat, but not my eyes for they were as dry as me now. I couldn't even blink.

"We have to go back to the tree! Jacob hit Edward!"

"Tree? What tree?" Rosalie asked. "We need to call the police." Jasper could be seen digging his cell phone out of his jeans and stepping to the side of us.

"Bella, you need to come sit down, okay?" Alice suggested softy. She touched my arm.

"No!" I screamed. "Where is Edward!"

"Over here," A weak voice called. All eyes shifted to the tree line opposite of where we were standing. Edward stumbled over roots, holding the back of his head with one hand while the other tried to stead himself.

I dropped the cardigan that was draped around me and ran over to him. Everyone that watched me go, could now see my back and gasped. Edward's eyes brightened when he saw me, but he was extremely pale.

"Baby," He whispered as I threw myself to his chest. I hugged him as tight as I could muster with what little muscle I had left. His hand rubbed over my back until he pulled away. I couldn't look up to him. He took my wrist and turned me.

"Fuck," He seethed. "Bella, oh, my God, what happened?"

"Jacob," I whispered. Edward made a low growl and stumbled backwards.

"Jas! Emmett!" I called. They were at Edward's side immediately to steady him. We all limped over to a log by the now smoking fire.

"Jesus, you head, man," Emmett said. I was stricken with worry and wanted to gag on air. Edward had to be all right.

"Cops are coming," Jas informed. Edward's eyes went into the back of his his head every so often.

The rest of the time spent waiting for the authorities passed quickly and wordlessly. I held onto Edward's mid section with his free hand draped over my shoulder. Rosalie came and placed her cardigan back over me. When the cops came, I cried when they separated me from Edward. They wheeled him and then me back out to the ambulance quickly.

"No! You have to go get Jacob!" I cried.

"We will, ma'am," an officer informed, "We just need to get you all some medical attention."

"No, the slaughter house! He could have woken up and run away by now," I begged. The young officer looked to his partner and nodded.

"Where?" He asked.

"Almost a mile back that way," I replied.

"I can show you," Jasper added. The cops nodded and left with Jasper. My chest eased slightly and I stared up ahead at Edward.

Back in Jasper's driveway, a crime scene detective approached us with a camera. I shuddered. The man went to Edward who rolled over. Flashes snapped towards his wounded head a dozen times, then he came over to me.

"I'm sorry ma'am," He said politely. "My name is, Ben. I just need a few shots."

I nodded aimlessly as the EMT guy next to me took my cardigan. I turned around and pulled my hair to the side. I heard the clicking of the shutter. He took pictures of my back, my ankles, my wrists, and my face wounds. It felt very intruding, but I knew it had to be done.

The ambulance felt colder than the outside world. The end doors were open and I was seated inside on a stretcher as an EMT looked over my wounds.

"All right, ma'am," He began, "I'm going to clean them, okay? It may burn," He warned. I sucked in a tight breath. A cold burning sensation scraped across my open wounds and I gasped.

"I'm sorry," He said.

"It's fine," I replied through clenched teeth. I knew someone would have to clean them. At least this guy was gentle. He finished with my back and put long bandages over the whipped streaks. The soothing jelly like medicine had them feeling better already. He cleaned my bruised and blood crusted wrists, too. When he came to my face, I flinched again. My eyebrow and cheek had been cut open from the soft contact of Jacob's knuckles. My EMT guy placed a few stitch bandages over them, too.

"All done," He said.

"Thank you," I replied. I looked down to his name tag. "Charlie," I added. He smiled. The fact that his name was the same as my dad's had me feeling better. It was one of those moments in life that felt like fate to help someone out.

Suddenly, I heard gravel crunching. I looked up to see Edward's ambulance slowly pulling away.

"No! I have to go with Edward!" I yelled. I stood up and felt light headed. Charlie placed a latex glove covered hand on my forearm to steady me.

"Bella, we will meet them at the hospital. He has a concussion. They will do x-rays to determine the length of the wound, and keep him over night. He will be okay. I need you to ride in here so that I can get an IV started. You're very dehydrated," He said. "They will do a thorough exam at the hospital, take your statement, and then you're free to go." I sighed in defeat. I wanted to cry. I needed Edward beside me. Charlie closed the back end doors and hit the inside roof three times. I heard the engine start.

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**Almost there! I hope you're all still enjoying it!**

**I wanted to let you all know how excited I am to announce that I am currently writing my first collaboration piece with Amelia Masen. She is fabulous and our new story is going to be epic! Add me to your alerts so that you can be notified when it is ready. I cannot wait and thanks for reading guys!**

**xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**Epilogue**

Time can move a or slower and faster than you think. It is never on your side, always against you. Time is the one thing in life you can always count on, though. It never sleeps, never stops, never changes. When you need it most, to keep you going, it is comforting to know that it is always moving along, taking you with it.

Autumn had arrived in East Tennessee. The trees were glorious colors of red, yellow, and a mix in between. The air was crisp and the days were growing shorter. My days however, couldn't stay long enough.

Jacob was found by the police right where I left him that night, months ago. He's serving a lengthy prison sentence. I wasn't ever afraid of him, though. I was afraid of loosing Edward. I was afraid of myself.

Edward spent three days in the hospital due to his head injury. The cops figured he was hit with a crow bar. I stayed all three days with him, and never left. Carlisle and Renee came home from their cruise early to be with us. It took a while before Edward could forgive himself.

For some reason, he blamed himself for Jacob's behavior. Luckily, I finally got him to see differently. He was my life, now as much as I was his. Although, I also learned to care more about myself. Past is past, why not leave it where it belongs.

Edward and I had a bright future to look forward to. He was in charge of the feed store now and loved it. Jacob's office was bought out by Paul, and I was able to keep my job. We began building a house together on Carlisle's property and were planning on opening a riding stables for children in the summer.

I stood in front of our new home that was sure to be finished in a just a few more weeks. It was chilly outside in just a flannel shirt. I wrapped my arms around myself until I felt a larger set overlay them. I breathed in and rested my head against Edward's chest.

"I can't wait," He said happily.

"Me either."

"I love you Bella."

"I love you, back." He kissed the top of my head.

"Babe, can we get a cat?" Edward scoffed and let go.

"Oh, hell no. A blood hound, sure. A rat even, but a cat? No way in hell," He argued. I rolled my eyes and shoved him. He grabbed my arms and started to tickled me. I laughed in delight at the small banter that we would carry for the rest of our live together. My heart swelled for him. I caught a glimmer of those lovely diamonds in his eyes, and knew with out a doubt that fate had brought us together, perfectly matched for each other.

**_ The End_**

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**Yay for happy endings! Thank you for all of the favorites and follows! I hope you enjoyed this little story & there is more where that came from! Check out my new fic, Imperfectly Matched. A little Christmas love story ;) **

** xx**


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